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[personal profile] ohnoitsshirley
the chances of feeling
brendon urie/zac efron, (lol actually it's more Brendon and Zac Efron, there's no like. whatever.)
pg, lol (sorry, sonia. you still love me, right?)

To you know who(s): I hope they're happy. once you've written fic about zac efron, that's just it. Also, I got bored and stopped really editing about halfway. There are only, like, 3 people who are going to read this anyway. So, oh well. It's unbetaed since the only people who would read it are the people who I would ask to beta, and I want them to be surprised. :D lol, i might have stolen the title from hsm because hell, why not at this point.

disclaimed: brendon urie is in a band and zac efron was in high school musical. everything else is made up. none of this is remotely within the realm of possibility. it's probably crack in it's purest form. so, there you go.

[livejournal.com profile] playfullips to [livejournal.com profile] ericaplease: because if this is going to be cracktastic fic about brendon and zac efron i'm going all out.

wherein: Brendon meets a Disney star that he most definitely doesn't know anything about, his bandmates mock him a lot and there are pancakes. And it's some time in 2009.

Brendon doesn't understand why they're at the Teen Choice Awards. They're not nominated for anything, and they're not performing, but Pete somehow managed to convince them that with the new album just out and a tour starting in a little less than a month, it would be good promotion. Since they decided that Pete is generally good at that sort of thing, and he is their boss, after all, here they are. The Jonas Brothers are behind them and the entire fucking Cyrus clan is in front of them, and Brendon can tell that Spencer and Ryan are both trying to figure out how long it would take them to sneak out without anyone noticing.

"How long is this thing supposed to last?" Jon looks almost as restless as Ryan and Spencer. "I'm probably not drunk enough to sit through it for too long."

"A couple of hours, I think," Brendon says. "But there's some post-show thing Pete's getting us into, remember?"

"I think," Spencer stops looking at the exits for long enough to join the conversation. "I think that, maybe, we should just skip the whole after-party thing. Pete will never know.
"It could be fun," Brendon says. And yeah, yeah, he even doubts that himself, but who knows. It's possible. "Well," He says. "At least there will probably be booze?"

Jon, Ryan and Spencer all shrug and mumble their agreements.

Amazingly, they manage to last the whole awards show with no one fleeing the scene or falling asleep, and the afterparty doesn't seem that bad.

Jon is somewhere having a discussion with Megan Fox about something or other, and Spencer and Ryan have somehow wound up in a heated debate about old pop music with fucking Justin Timberlake. Brendon would think both of those people would have better things to do than a Teen Choice Awards after party, but then, he would also think he would have something better to do tonight, and he was wrong about that.

He spots some familiar faces around the room, but right now he's actually pretty content to just hang out in this little corner. He's usually all about mingling and talking to people, but he's just really not feeling it tonight. Maybe it's the fact that he spent the better part of the evening at the fucking Teen Choice Awards. Maybe he's just in a bad mood. It's a toss up.

"Do you mind?" Brendon hadn't noticed someone walk into his corner. "I need to get away for just a second." Brendon notices that New Guy is actually Zac Efron. Not that Brendon should even know that because he's never seen any of the High School Musical movies, never been able to sing along to any of the songs in them, not ever.

Okay, maybe a little bit. But he's got young nieces and nephews and sometimes he baby-sits, and there's nothing like a good cheesy musical with wholesome values to get them the shut up when he doesn't really feel like playing barbies or army men.

Brendon can't figure out why Zac Efron is staring at him, until he remembers that he asked a question. "Oh, yeah, no. Go ahead." It's public space, after all. Brendon's just occupying it to get away from The Jonas Brothers.

"Thanks. It's all a little much." Brendon knows from random issues of People Magazine that Zac Efron has just broken up with his long time girlfriend, and he's very heartbroken about it. There was a quote and everything, not that Brendon read the article.

"Yeah," Brendon says. Brendon hasn't just broken up with his anything, but he gets the idea. "Wait, isn't this, like, your element? Shouldn't you be lording over your Disney Kingdom or something?"

"So you did recognize me," Zac says. "I thought so." There's a hint of a smile on his face, maybe even a hint of laughter in his voice. It sounds like mocking.

"Well, you're hard to miss," Brendon says, and then, "Plus, I have a six year old niece who lives and dies by High School Musical." He thinks, probably, that it's best to have an excuse, just in case. He figures that it's not good to have anyone think you're lame, but if Zac Efron thinks you're lame, it's probably true. "Swears she's going to marry Troy Bolton."

"I hear that a lot," Zac says. Brendon gets the feeling that he's being judged by Zac fucking Efron, and that's just really not cool.

"It's true," Brendon says, perhaps a bit too defensively, but damn it. This calls for defensive. Zac Efron is making fun of him in a really vague way that could possibly all be in Brendon's head. But still, it totally counts.

"I didn't say it wasn't," Zac laughs, laughs, at him, and Brendon considers going as far as to flee the party all together, but he decides that's probably not going to make Zac judge him any less. "...in the corner all night?" Brendon hadn't realized that he'd completely zoned out just then.


"I said, shouldn't you be somewhere with your band, instead of hanging out in the corner all night?" Zac still looks amused, and Brendon's a little distracted by it, for whatever reason. So distracted it takes him a moment to realize that Zac Efron just asked about his band, which means that Zac actually recognizes him. Which is ...actually kind of cool, Brendon thinks.

"You know my band?" Brendon says. Maybe he sounds a little too excited, maybe. He's just surprised, is all.

"Is that surprising for some reason?" Zac says. "I don't actually spend my days singing along to my fellow Disney stars." Zac doesn't sound offended or anything, but Brendon still feels bad because that's not what he meant at all.

"No," Brendon says. "I just ..." He doesn't actually know what he can follow that with that won't sound like he thinks he's cooler than he actually is, so he just lets it end there. Whatever Zac implies won't sound any worse than anything he would probably say. Brendon's pretty known for putting his foot in his mouth.

"Hey, it's cool. You're not the first person to assume that I sit around listening to the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus," Zac says, and Brendon would think he were angry, but he mostly sounds amused.

"Well, you do give off that vibe," Brendon says. "It's the hair. Or possibly the tan. And you have spent most of your adult life singing about living your dreams to twelve year olds."

"Twelve year olds and you, apparently." Zac says, smirk firmly in place.

"Touche," Brendon says. "So, you like my band?" He grins. He's not so ready to leave anymore, at least, so that's something.

"I didn't say that," Zac says. "I just asked where they were."

"It was implied."

"It was?" Zac says. "I don't remember implying that."

"Oh, but you did, so why don't you tell me, Disney Guy, exactly what is it that you like about my band?"

"I'm sorry," Zac says, and then, "Who are you again?"

"Hey, Brendon." Brendon hadn't even noticed that Jon had walked up to them. "We're getting ready to head back to the hotel. You ready to go?"

"What? Oh, oh, yeah," Brendon says. "Just a second."

Jon looks from Brendon, to Zac, and then raises an eyebrow. He nods and says, "Okay then," before walking away.

"So, hey, cool to meet you and all," Brendon says. "I'll look for you at the next show, since you love my band so much." He grins.

"Yeah, well, I'll be sure to make sure you're on the guest list of the next movie," Zac says. "I'm sure you'd love to meet the whole cast."

"I'll tell my niece. She'll be thrilled," Brendon says. "See you around." Brendon knows that it's not very likely that he's ever going to run into Zac again, but it feels like the thing to say.

"...totally flirting. It was disturbing," Jon says. Ryan and Spencer are looking at him blankly. That is, until Spencer bursts up laughing the second Brendon walks up. Brendon doesn't really understand until he realizes that Jon had caught him in the middle of a conversation with Zac Efron.

"Brendon," Spencer says, between laughter. "Brendon, Jon is making shit up, right?"

"What?" Brendon says. Playing dumb seems like the best course of action in this matter.

"Jon told us that you were in there flirting with that Disney guy," Ryan says. "We told him that he's full of shit."

"I wasn't flirting," Brendon says. "We were having a conversation." Somehow he doesn't think that's going to come off much better.

"About what? Twirling around in the rain?" Spencer asks. Brendon thinks he's going to pop a blood vessel in his brain if he keeps laughing so hard.

"Oh, Spencer, come on," Jon says. "I'm sure they could have been talking about anything." Jon pauses, looking thoughtful. "Maybe they were discussing very serious Jonas Brothers gossip."

"I hate you all," Brendon says. "Anyway, some of us can't talk because we were arguing Backstreet Boys versus *NSYNC with Justin Timberlake."

"That was low, man," Spencer says. "Besides, we weren't flirting. Jon says you were flirting."

"Jon's a liar." Brendon was not flirting with Zac Efron. They were talking. There is nothing mockable about talking.

"I'm just telling them what I saw, man," Jon says, holding his hands up in a defensive pose. "And what I saw was flirting. If your hair was longer you would have been flipping it seductively."

"That's a vicious lie, Jon Walker," Brendon says. "A vicious lie." Ryan and Spencer start laughing again, and Jon just shrugs, smirking as he does so. "Fine, whatever. Are we going back to the hotel or not?"

"That we are," Jon says. A moment passes before he asks, "So, did you get his number? Did he get yours? We have to meet your new boyfriend."

"I hate you," Brendon says. Jon just laughs and slings an arm around Brendon's shoulders.


There's a day, a month later, when Brendon wakes up and goes the whole day without one of his band mates mentioning Zac Efron, High School Musical or any related franchises. It might actually be the best day of Brendon's life. Or at least his best day in a very long while.

It's too bad that he actually runs into Zac later that night, at his own show. The tour started a few days ago in Vegas, and now they're doing a two day stop in LA. Brendon likes when they have two days in one city because that usually means they get a hotel night. It's only the beginning of the tour, and they've been off the road for a while, so he's not tired of bus life yet, but he's not going to complain.

Pete calls him and says, "So I got the weirdest phone call from Zac Efron." Brendon takes a moment to wonder why Zac would even have Pete's phone number and then realizes that it's just because it's Pete, and he's ridiculous and somehow knows everyone. "He wanted to know if I could get him into the Panic at the Disco show tonight. Do you know why he would want that, Brendon?" Brendon can hear Pete's grin through the fucking phone line, and if Pete didn't have a son that wasn't even a year old, he would drive to Pete's house and kill him right this second. Poor Bronx shouldn't have to be fatherless though, even if his father is a douchebag.

"I have no idea, Pete." Brendon says. "Please, tell me why."

"Well, he did mention a conversation with a certain lead singer at the Teen Choice Awards last month," Pete says. He's lying, Brendon knows that he's lying.

"He did not."

"No, he didn't," Pete says. "But you would be so giddy if he had, wouldn't you?" Brendon thought he was through with this. He really did. "Did you get him in, Pete?" Not that Brendon cares. At all.


"Don't you have a baby to feed or change or something?" Brendon has to go to soundcheck or to take a shower or to just be off the phone right now.

"Oh man, Jon was right. This is so much fun," Pete says. "Anyway, expect Troy --Sorry, I mean Zac-- to be at the show tonight. His name is on the guest list."

"Yeah, thanks for letting me know." Brendon says, dryly. He actually doesn't care. Well, maybe he cares a little bit. It's kind of cool that Zac Efron is coming to their show tonight. And he's really got to stop referring to him as Zac Efron. It makes this whole thing even more lame.

"No problem, dude," Pete says. "See you tomorrow!" The downside of having two shows in LA. If Pete can't make the first show because he's stuck home with the baby while Ashlee has a night out with the girls, he will be at the second show, to make Brendon's life a living hell in person, instead of just on the phone.


They're hanging out in the dressing room after the show, winding down a bit before they go to meet some fans and then head to the hotel. Ryan and Jon are texting their girlfriends, and Spencer called first shower. Brendon's not waiting to see if Zac comes by after the show because that would be stupid. He doesn't really care. Zac didn't actually say anything about Brendon when he asked Pete for the tickets, and he had told Brendon that he liked the band. Well, he'd implied it. Vaguely.

"Hey, Bden," Zack says, coming into the dressing room. "Someone here to see you."

"Oh really?" Jon says, raising an eyebrow, but making no effort to to look away from his phone. "I wonder who it is." Brendon thinks Jon is texting faster now.

"Shut up, Walker," Brendon says. "Who is it?"

"Like you don't already know," Ryan says. Brendon is going to kill them both. In their sleep. He can totally talk Zack into giving him the spare key to their room.

"Okay, Zack. Take me to him. Anything to get me out of this dressing room," Brendon says, sending a glare toward Ryan and Jon, neither of whom are paying attention to him.


Zac and Brendon end up in the hotel bar after Brendon sticks around for a while and talks to some fans. Even Zac ends up signing a few autographs for some girls who seem much more interested in him than they are in Brendon. It's going to be all over the internet in the morning. Brendon can feel it. Pete will text him at 5am to tell him so. He's not really looking forward to it.

Jon, Ryan and Spencer have all already texted him to tell him they're back in their rooms. Well, Spencer tells Brendon he's with Jon and Ryan, just in case he and Zac want some privacy later (there are winking smileys and italics all over the message), but he tells Spencer to fuck off, so who knows.

They've both had a few drinks, and Brendon doesn't really know what the fuck they're talking about anymore. Maybe it's been more than a few drinks. He doesn't know. Zac's saying something about one of his co-stars and a prank on set, Brendon doesn't really know, but he thinks it's hilarious. So, yeah, maybe more than a few.

"So, you know what I really love?" Brendon says. "That song, that one that you sing in the third movie." Brendon's vaguely aware that he's not supposed to actually like High School Musical, but he's drunk enough that he doesn't care anymore.

"I do a lot of songs in the third movie," Zac says.

"No, that one. That you do. With the screaming. And then it rains balls on your head," Brendon laughs, maybe a little too loud because the couple huddled in the corner looks up and stares at him.

"That was so funny I forgot to laugh," Zac says. "Wow, I need to call a cab. It's, like ...It's really late, and I don't think I could walk to my car at this point, much less drive anywhere in it."

"You don't have to do that," Brendon says. Kind of before he realizes what he's saying.

"No," Zac says. "I really do. You're not driving my car either."

"No, like. Well, Spencer said he's vacating the room, so you could, like," Brendon doesn't really know what the hell he's saying anymore. "You could, like, sleep. There. In my room."

Zac seems to sober up a little bit because he's just staring back and Brendon. Like, staring and not blinking. It would be hilarious if it weren't a little creepy. "Dude, I don't think that's a good--"

"No! I mean," Brendon says. "No, literally. I mean, it's, like, a twin room. There are two beds and stuff. So you can just sleep there, or whatever."

"What if Spencer's there and he was just screwing with you?" Zac says. How is he that logical when they've had so much to drink. Brendon doesn't understand.

"Well, then we'll just really freak him out," Brendon says, grinning. "That actually sounds like fun. Come on." Brendon just hopes he can remember the room number without having to wake someone up.


Brendon has probably the worst hangover of his life. He doesn't remember drinking quite so much last night, but he also doesn't remember coming back to the room, so that might explain it. He can hear the shower going in the bathroom, but upon glancing around the room doesn't see Spencer's bags.

And then he hears humming coming from the bathroom, and then full on singing what sounds like one of their songs, and doesn't sound remotely like Spencer. Brendon's headache isn't getting any better.

The shower stops, and so does the singing, and a few minutes later the door opens and Zac, Zac Efron, walks out with towel tied around his waist. Brendon must look really shocked because Zac laughs at him and says, "Wow, you should see the look on your face, man."

"Uhm." Brendon has no clue what's going on. "Why are you here?"

"Because you told me to stay here instead of calling a cab last night?" Zac says.

"I didn't," Brendon says. "I mean, you didn't. We didn't ...."

"What?" Zac stops. "Oh! Oh, no. No. I slept. In the other bed. Well, at least that's where I woke up, and then I took a shower."

"Oh, good," Brendon says. "I mean, not that I, you know ...or that you're." Brendon has no fucking idea what he's saying. "Wow, I'm just going to stop talking."

"That's probably for the best." Zac doesn't sound annoyed though, so Brendon counts it as a win. "I'll just get dressed and then I'll get going. Thanks for the place to crash."

"No," Brendon says. "I mean, at least have breakfast. We can order room service. It's on me. And by me I mean my record company."

"Well," Zac says. "If you insist."

"Awesome. I'm going to have pancakes."


Brendon and Zac are sitting on Brendon's bed eating pancakes, laughing about some stupid story about Pete Brendon is telling when Spencer comes through the door. He takes one look at them, says, "Oh Jesus Christ, last night wasn't bad enough? I'll be in the other room. Again," and then leaves.

Brendon and Zac look at each other and laugh.

"So," Zac says, smiling. "I was thinking maybe you could get me on the guest list again tonight."



Uhm, lol flocked. I am not posting this publicly. :( Maybe I'll change my mind later, but who knows. Now is that not that later. lol, unlocked it. I am over the shame, I guess.

I am feeling so shamed right now, so don't say a WORD, flist. DON'T SAY A WORD. I DID IT FOR THE JON/BRENDON FIC. D:
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