![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ohnoitsshirleyAuthor: TopazAngel
Title: Everything Falls Apart 1/?
Rating: R (not in this chapter, but will be by the end)
Word count: 2898
Fandom: Angel
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Cordelia/Lindsey, Cordelia/Angel, (Angel/Darla, Lindsey/Darla Implied)
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Before ‘Offspring,’ after ‘Billy’
Teaser: As Cordelia’s visions worsen, Darla comes back with a surprise. Cordelia has no choice but to confide in an outsider who just happens back in town.
Distribution: My C/L site, CCF.net, anyone else ask and you can have. Just leave my name on it.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss, David, ME, and all those names that you all should know by now.
Dedication: Tonnie for A) being my C/L partner in crime B) Encouraging me to do this C) Being Cordy to my Lindsey. Sigh. D) For always reading over my stuff in IM so that I know it doesn’t suck *before* I post.
Additional Notes: Yes this is a WiP, but its not like my other WiPs. I actually have it planned in my head, and I know exactly where it is going. I believe in all honesty this fic is going to be some of my best writing to date, and I don't compliment myself often, so I would really like to know what you think.
“Angel! Wesley! I’m heading out early tonight!” Cordelia called into the office where the men had been comparing notes about their current case.
“May I ask why?” Wesley popped his head out of the office door.
“Because I’m just wasting space here?” she questioned with a bright smile.
“What if you have a vision?” he asked pointedly.
“Hello! Technology has come a long way smart guy! I think I know how to pick up a phone!” she argued, “please? I’ve had a long day, and I’m supposed to go to the stylist tomorrow. Do you have any idea how long its been since I’ve had someone else do my hair? Too long,” she answered her own question, almost pouting.
Wesley hesitated slightly.
“I do suppose Angel and I have things handled for now,” he said with a slight smile.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she beamed, “I’ll stay late tomorrow night! I promise!”
“Yes, well, you know I’ll hold you to that.”
“I know,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “Night Wes!” she called back as she turned to leave.
Cordelia stepped out of the doors of the Hyperion. She hadn’t been entirely truthful about her reason for leaving early.
She didn’t want them worry, but the vision she had had earlier in the night was wearing heavy on her. All the visions recently had been weighing heavy. She didn’t want Angel, Wes, and Gunn to think she couldn’t handle it.
She could. Or at least she liked to tell herself that she could. She knew it wouldn’t be long before she was forced to tell them what the doctors had been saying all along.
They were killing her.
She paused as she felt a slight chill down the back of her neck. She shook her head, deciding it must have just been a cool breeze.
“Get a grip Cordy, its night time in California. There is bound to be a breeze now and then,” she began to walk down the steps again, glancing behind her should. Just in case.
She tried to convince herself that she hadn’t seen that shadowy figure pass.
“Is anyone there?” she asked, shaking her head, “You’re losing it Cordelia,” she whispered.
“Hold it right there,” a familiar voice said from behind her.
Cordelia almost didn’t want to turn around. She knew that voice all to well. She had had too much experience with that voice.
“Darla,” she said flatly, not turning around. Just knowing.
“You might want to be here for this,” she said before turning to walk into the hotel.
Cordelia stood still. Something told her to just go. Walk away. Not let curiosity get the best of her.
Especially after what happened the last time Darla and Angel were in the same vicinity.
She heard the door open and close before turning back around.
“Dammit, I’m just asking for trouble, aren’t I?” she cursed herself silently.
She looked on in shock as she opened the door.
“What the…?” her eyes widened. This wasn’t happening. Hell no. It was impossible, wasn’t it.
“Oh Angel? Remember me?” Darla called to the office.
He stepped out slowly. She was the last person he expected to see again. In fact, he really wanted to forget he had seen her the last time they met.
It hadn’t been his finest hour.
He was ready to forget it. Put the whole event behind him. From the looks of things, that didn’t seem like a possibility.
“Darla.”
“Angel,” she said rubbing a hand over her stomach, “Surprised?”
“What’s going on here?” he asked, staring at her in shock. In disbelief of what he was seeing.
“What does it look like Angel?” Darla asked him condescendingly. She made her way to the couch, and slowly sat down.
“I don’t get it. This is a-”
“Miracle,” Wesley whispered, cutting Angel off.
“Umm, hello! Miracle? I’m thinking a lot of words right now, and miracle isn’t one of them!” Cordelia chimed in, making her way towards Angel.
“What the hell is this Angel? First of all, vampire? Pregnant? Can that even happen? And second of all, if it did happen, I can only think of one way it would have anything to do with you, and I hope its not that. For your sake,” she was angry.
She had the right to be.
“Cordelia, I know what this is looks like.”
“Oh do you? Because I think it looks like you had some wild night with Darla and then lied to us all by saying that was something you would never do!” Cordelia glared at him. He didn’t like when she glared at him.
He didn’t like seeing her angry or upset. Especially when he was the cause. He had caused her enough pain in the last year, and this wasn’t going to help their friendship. Their friendship which up until a few months ago, was seemingly going to be non-existent because of his actions.
“I., uh, I can’t really-”
“Oh come on Angel. Don’t lie to protect her,” Darla looked to Cordelia, almost mocking her with words, “One night. Three times,” she smiled wickedly, “What Angel didn’t go off and brag to his friends how one night of screwing the evil ex made him realize what a mistake he was making and all that hero nonsense? I’m shocked.”
“Darla, maybe you should leave,” Angel was getting angry.
“No,” Cordelia said forcefully.
“What?” He was confused. Cordelia was telling Darla not to leave?
“I’ll go. You two obviously have some things to work out, and you can’t very well kick her out on her ass like that,” there was a hint of sadness in Cordelia’s voice. No. Not sadness. Disappointment.
In him. She was disappointed in him.
“Cordy, I-” he started to apologize.
“Don’t Angel. I don’t want to hear it alright. Just let me go home,” she frowned, turning back towards the door of the hotel.
“Just let her go Angel. Its probably for the best,” she heard Wesley tell him gently.
“Yeah, okay,” he turned to Darla, “We need to figure this out anyway.”
*****
Cordelia wrapped her arms around her body tightly as she walked down the darkened street.
Maybe walking alone in LA at night wasn’t the smartest thing, but she couldn’t go home. She had too much on her mind.
Angel and Darla. Together. It shouldn’t have bothered her so much. She couldn’t figure out why she was even dwelling on it. Angel was a guy. Just a guy who she was friends with.
And for some reason knowing that he had done that. With Darla. It hurt her. A lot.
Not only that, but there was a child involved. And Cordelia didn’t want to try to figure out how that happened.
Miracle. What in the hell was Wesley thinking. Darla and Angel having a kid? That was everything but a miracle.
Fluke? Maybe. Disaster? Definitely. But miracle? No.
Cordelia turned on to a familiar street. She knew where she was going. Home probably would have been better. But she wasn’t in the mood to drown her sorrows in ice cream. She needed something just a little bit stronger.
Cordelia walked into Caritas to the sounds of a very tone deaf demon attempting to sing “Wild Wild West.”
Cordelia laughed slightly to herself, only for a moment before turning to the bar. There was one thing she could always count on about this place, it was sure to give a good laugh. If only a brief one.
“Hey sugar, the usual tonight?” Lorne walked up behind her. She turned with a frown, something Lorne wasn’t very used to seeing on her face.
“I was thinking something a bit stronger. Tequila maybe?”
“Honey, the last time you had tequila,” he paused for a moment, looking at her sadly, “are you alright sweetie, you look a little-”
“Worn out? Tired? Sick? All of the above and then some,” she said dryly, “I haven’t had a very good night.”
“Tom,” he nodded at her and called to the bartender, “get Cordy here some of our best tequila. And make it quick.”
“Thanks Lorne.”
The bartender was back in what seemed like half a second to Cordelia. Probably some kind of demon. That wouldn’t surprise her one bit. He poured her a large glass and left the bottle next to her on the bar.
“And Tom? This is on the house,” Lorne called to him before turning back to Cordelia, “So, what’s on your mind? You look like you need to talk about something, and bad.”
“I’m fine,” she lied, putting on her best fake smile.
“Cordelia Chase. You should know by now you can’t fool me. I know when something is wrong, and you are definitely giving off some painful vibes right now,” he frowned and sighed deeply, “you don’t have to talk to me sweetie, but you can’t bottle it up either. Why don’t you sing? That’s a nice way to get it all out.”
“You just want me to sing,” she laughed slightly.
“Maybe,” he winked at her, “Come on Cordy. Promise you’ll feel better.”
“Maybe after a few more tequilas.”
About four tequilas later, Cordelia was flipping through a song book by the stage with Lorne looking over her shoulder.
“I told you, no Whitney, Aretha, or Christina sweetie. We wouldn’t want them rolling over in their non-existent graves, now would we?”
“Hey! Watch it buddy!” she glared at him, “I may be drunk, but I can still kick your ass,” she said with slightly slurred speech.
“Not in here you can’t,” he said with slight relief in his voice, “Now sweetie, why don’t we go for some nice Madonna, or oh look, Britney! I’m sure you could sing her under the table!”
“OOO!” Cordelia squealed, “I love this song!” she pointed wildly at the book, “This one. I’m singing this one,” she smiled widely.
“Great choice,” he said, without much enthusiasm, “I don’t hear that one enough,” he mumbled sarcastically under his breath.
Cordelia ran up on stage, and readied the microphone. Apparently, the alcohol had raised her spirits because she was bouncing around on stage as she did her rendition of “I Will Survive.” She finished up and did a little curtsey before walking off stage.
“You know what Lorne? You were totally right,” she nodded, “I feel soooo much better. I mean, who cares if that asshole Angel wants to have hot and sweaty wild nights with evil vampires and not tell anyone, right? Because he doesn’t matter. He’s…he’s…” she paused for a moment, “he a crap weasel!” Cordelia said as the walked over to the bar. She picked up her now full glass of tequila.
“A crap weasel?” Lorne asked, “Cordy sweetie, that’s it. I’m cutting you off,” he told her, taking the glass out of her hand.
“What? No!” she said reaching for the glass.
“Sorry honey, but I don’t want to be responsible for anything you may do while either under the influence of this or trying to lie through the hangover you are going to have when you show up at the office in the morning.”
“Pfft. I am so not going to the office tomorrow. Angel’s sorry ass can have his own visions,” she slammed her hand down on the bar.
“This whole Darla thing is really effecting you isn’t it honey?”
“What? Pssh. No way. What or who Angel does in his spare time is none of my business,” she said, looking away from him.
“Honey, again, who are you talking to here? I know that it bothers you.”
“Look, Angel can screw whoever he wants. I just want to be at a bar and wallow. Which is what I am doing. I’m wallowing. And tomorrow I will wake up with all the wallow out of my system, and I will go back to being Angel’s vision girl. I won’t complain, and I’ll let Wes get all ‘Oh! Baby vampire! Its such a miracle!’” she said, mocking Wesley’s accent.
“Did you just say-” Lorne began, but she cut him off before he could finish.
“Miracle my ass. This is a disaster. A disaster I tell you. Darla? A mother? Come the hell on! That’s gotta be like, the universes practical joke on earth!” Cordelia continued her rant, “And Angel? Mr. BroodyPants? A father? Like he could even raise a DOG!”
“Cordelia. Calm down and tell Lorne that this isn’t some hallucination brought on by the tequila,” he said calmly.
“No, I’m NOT going to calm down. You know what? I think I am going to go home, and leave an angry message on his answering machine. Or well, the offices answering machine. Because I am so not coming to work tomorrow. He LIED. Lied to me and everything. You don’t lie to Cordelia Chase. You just don’t. Thanks Lorne,” she smiled at him, “you were a big help!” she hugged him tightly and began out of the bar.
Cordelia walked out of the bar a lot more happy than she had walked in. Apparently alcohol was good for her. She began walking down the alley, searching through her purse for a stake, “you can never be too careful,” she mumbled.
She walked as she fumbled. Apparently not a good idea. She hadn’t gotten a foot before she bumped right into someone. Or at least, she hoped it was someone. And not something. She had a stake, but she wasn’t sure she could fight anything off what with the dizziness that was forming and all.
“In a hurry?” a male voice asked.
“Oh good, you’re human,” she breathed a sigh of relief, looking up, “Hey! You’re Lindsey! I know you! You’re evil! And not supposed to be in LA!” her speech slurred as she began to raise her voice.
“I’m not?” he was slightly amused at the situation, “I wasn’t aware that Angel and his band of heroes could place restrictions on who comes in and out of the city.”
“Angel. Pfft. And, well, we can’t. But you went all evil handed and told Angel you weren’t coming back! I remember!” she argued.
“Well, I lied,” he smirked slightly, “we evil handed people sometimes do that.”
“You know, Angel was right, you are very very annoying.”
“And you’re drunk.”
“What? No way!” she lied, “besides, what if I was? Likes its any of your business, Born Again Boy?” she paused, “Or is it Born Again Again Boy now? I lost track. Di you come back for another six figure salary? Or did they just offer you some gold coins?”
“Hey, give me some credit here. I’m not with Wolfram and Hart anymore.”
“Yeah, right. What is this? Some ‘send the cute guy with the swoon-worthy voice to win over Angel’s vision girl’ plan? Because its not gonna work buddy. I see right through you.”
“You think I have a swoon-worthy voice huh?” he smirked slightly, very amused at how open Cordelia was when drunk.
“No. That’s not what I meant.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, pausing, “so what brings you to this side of town alone? I thought you hero-champion types stuck together.”
“What? Like I have to follow him around like a puppy dog? No. He’s my boss, or well, Wesley’s my boss. Angel’s just. A crap weasel! And he and his bitchy crap weasel blonde bitch can go do whatever they want whenever they want. Its not my business.”
“Whoa. Looks like I hit a touchy subject,” he laughed slightly, thinking over what she said, “He’s a crap weasel?”
“Why does everyone get so surprised by that word? Yes. He is a crap weasel. A weasel of crap. Its not that hard of a concept!” she retorted.
“Okay. Got it. Crap weasel. Remind me never to run into you drunk again,” he said, rolling his eyes slightly.
“Like you could!”
“What?” he laughed, “Was that supposed to be insulting? I’m thinking alcohol? Not good for your verbal barb skills.”
“Pfft.”
“Pfft? That’s all you can come up with? Pfft?”
“Why? Do you have something against the word pfft?”
“Its just not a good insult or a word for that matter,” he laughed slightly, followed by a brief pause, “look, I know you hate me and all, but you shouldn’t be walking around LA at night drunk. Alone. Let me make sure you get home okay.”
“I don’t need you to make sure I get home okay. I can get home okay alone. I’ve done a bagillion times!”
“Again. Not a word,” he chuckled a bit.
“Bite me.”
“Nah, wouldn’t want to take advantage of you in your drunken state,” he smirked at her.
“Oh please, that wasn‘t high school at all!” she said, beginning to walk off.
“Come on Cordelia, I’m serious. I was just going to stop off and sing a song for Lorne, but you shouldn’t walk home alone.”
“You promise you don’t have some ulterior motive? Like oh? Knocking me unconscious and taking me back to Wolfram and Hart so they can do some kind of experiment on my vision filled brain?”
“You have my word,” he smiled softly at her.
“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes, “that’s what I’m afraid of,” she paused for a moment, trying to figure out whether she should believe him or not.
Blame the alcohol, but right now she trusted him more than she trusted Angel.
Anyone wondering? The title came to me because I was thinking of the Sugar Ray song "Falls Apart."
Title: Everything Falls Apart 1/?
Rating: R (not in this chapter, but will be by the end)
Word count: 2898
Fandom: Angel
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Cordelia/Lindsey, Cordelia/Angel, (Angel/Darla, Lindsey/Darla Implied)
Spoilers: None
Timeline: Before ‘Offspring,’ after ‘Billy’
Teaser: As Cordelia’s visions worsen, Darla comes back with a surprise. Cordelia has no choice but to confide in an outsider who just happens back in town.
Distribution: My C/L site, CCF.net, anyone else ask and you can have. Just leave my name on it.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss, David, ME, and all those names that you all should know by now.
Dedication: Tonnie for A) being my C/L partner in crime B) Encouraging me to do this C) Being Cordy to my Lindsey. Sigh. D) For always reading over my stuff in IM so that I know it doesn’t suck *before* I post.
Additional Notes: Yes this is a WiP, but its not like my other WiPs. I actually have it planned in my head, and I know exactly where it is going. I believe in all honesty this fic is going to be some of my best writing to date, and I don't compliment myself often, so I would really like to know what you think.
“Angel! Wesley! I’m heading out early tonight!” Cordelia called into the office where the men had been comparing notes about their current case.
“May I ask why?” Wesley popped his head out of the office door.
“Because I’m just wasting space here?” she questioned with a bright smile.
“What if you have a vision?” he asked pointedly.
“Hello! Technology has come a long way smart guy! I think I know how to pick up a phone!” she argued, “please? I’ve had a long day, and I’m supposed to go to the stylist tomorrow. Do you have any idea how long its been since I’ve had someone else do my hair? Too long,” she answered her own question, almost pouting.
Wesley hesitated slightly.
“I do suppose Angel and I have things handled for now,” he said with a slight smile.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she beamed, “I’ll stay late tomorrow night! I promise!”
“Yes, well, you know I’ll hold you to that.”
“I know,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “Night Wes!” she called back as she turned to leave.
Cordelia stepped out of the doors of the Hyperion. She hadn’t been entirely truthful about her reason for leaving early.
She didn’t want them worry, but the vision she had had earlier in the night was wearing heavy on her. All the visions recently had been weighing heavy. She didn’t want Angel, Wes, and Gunn to think she couldn’t handle it.
She could. Or at least she liked to tell herself that she could. She knew it wouldn’t be long before she was forced to tell them what the doctors had been saying all along.
They were killing her.
She paused as she felt a slight chill down the back of her neck. She shook her head, deciding it must have just been a cool breeze.
“Get a grip Cordy, its night time in California. There is bound to be a breeze now and then,” she began to walk down the steps again, glancing behind her should. Just in case.
She tried to convince herself that she hadn’t seen that shadowy figure pass.
“Is anyone there?” she asked, shaking her head, “You’re losing it Cordelia,” she whispered.
“Hold it right there,” a familiar voice said from behind her.
Cordelia almost didn’t want to turn around. She knew that voice all to well. She had had too much experience with that voice.
“Darla,” she said flatly, not turning around. Just knowing.
“You might want to be here for this,” she said before turning to walk into the hotel.
Cordelia stood still. Something told her to just go. Walk away. Not let curiosity get the best of her.
Especially after what happened the last time Darla and Angel were in the same vicinity.
She heard the door open and close before turning back around.
“Dammit, I’m just asking for trouble, aren’t I?” she cursed herself silently.
She looked on in shock as she opened the door.
“What the…?” her eyes widened. This wasn’t happening. Hell no. It was impossible, wasn’t it.
“Oh Angel? Remember me?” Darla called to the office.
He stepped out slowly. She was the last person he expected to see again. In fact, he really wanted to forget he had seen her the last time they met.
It hadn’t been his finest hour.
He was ready to forget it. Put the whole event behind him. From the looks of things, that didn’t seem like a possibility.
“Darla.”
“Angel,” she said rubbing a hand over her stomach, “Surprised?”
“What’s going on here?” he asked, staring at her in shock. In disbelief of what he was seeing.
“What does it look like Angel?” Darla asked him condescendingly. She made her way to the couch, and slowly sat down.
“I don’t get it. This is a-”
“Miracle,” Wesley whispered, cutting Angel off.
“Umm, hello! Miracle? I’m thinking a lot of words right now, and miracle isn’t one of them!” Cordelia chimed in, making her way towards Angel.
“What the hell is this Angel? First of all, vampire? Pregnant? Can that even happen? And second of all, if it did happen, I can only think of one way it would have anything to do with you, and I hope its not that. For your sake,” she was angry.
She had the right to be.
“Cordelia, I know what this is looks like.”
“Oh do you? Because I think it looks like you had some wild night with Darla and then lied to us all by saying that was something you would never do!” Cordelia glared at him. He didn’t like when she glared at him.
He didn’t like seeing her angry or upset. Especially when he was the cause. He had caused her enough pain in the last year, and this wasn’t going to help their friendship. Their friendship which up until a few months ago, was seemingly going to be non-existent because of his actions.
“I., uh, I can’t really-”
“Oh come on Angel. Don’t lie to protect her,” Darla looked to Cordelia, almost mocking her with words, “One night. Three times,” she smiled wickedly, “What Angel didn’t go off and brag to his friends how one night of screwing the evil ex made him realize what a mistake he was making and all that hero nonsense? I’m shocked.”
“Darla, maybe you should leave,” Angel was getting angry.
“No,” Cordelia said forcefully.
“What?” He was confused. Cordelia was telling Darla not to leave?
“I’ll go. You two obviously have some things to work out, and you can’t very well kick her out on her ass like that,” there was a hint of sadness in Cordelia’s voice. No. Not sadness. Disappointment.
In him. She was disappointed in him.
“Cordy, I-” he started to apologize.
“Don’t Angel. I don’t want to hear it alright. Just let me go home,” she frowned, turning back towards the door of the hotel.
“Just let her go Angel. Its probably for the best,” she heard Wesley tell him gently.
“Yeah, okay,” he turned to Darla, “We need to figure this out anyway.”
*****
Cordelia wrapped her arms around her body tightly as she walked down the darkened street.
Maybe walking alone in LA at night wasn’t the smartest thing, but she couldn’t go home. She had too much on her mind.
Angel and Darla. Together. It shouldn’t have bothered her so much. She couldn’t figure out why she was even dwelling on it. Angel was a guy. Just a guy who she was friends with.
And for some reason knowing that he had done that. With Darla. It hurt her. A lot.
Not only that, but there was a child involved. And Cordelia didn’t want to try to figure out how that happened.
Miracle. What in the hell was Wesley thinking. Darla and Angel having a kid? That was everything but a miracle.
Fluke? Maybe. Disaster? Definitely. But miracle? No.
Cordelia turned on to a familiar street. She knew where she was going. Home probably would have been better. But she wasn’t in the mood to drown her sorrows in ice cream. She needed something just a little bit stronger.
Cordelia walked into Caritas to the sounds of a very tone deaf demon attempting to sing “Wild Wild West.”
Cordelia laughed slightly to herself, only for a moment before turning to the bar. There was one thing she could always count on about this place, it was sure to give a good laugh. If only a brief one.
“Hey sugar, the usual tonight?” Lorne walked up behind her. She turned with a frown, something Lorne wasn’t very used to seeing on her face.
“I was thinking something a bit stronger. Tequila maybe?”
“Honey, the last time you had tequila,” he paused for a moment, looking at her sadly, “are you alright sweetie, you look a little-”
“Worn out? Tired? Sick? All of the above and then some,” she said dryly, “I haven’t had a very good night.”
“Tom,” he nodded at her and called to the bartender, “get Cordy here some of our best tequila. And make it quick.”
“Thanks Lorne.”
The bartender was back in what seemed like half a second to Cordelia. Probably some kind of demon. That wouldn’t surprise her one bit. He poured her a large glass and left the bottle next to her on the bar.
“And Tom? This is on the house,” Lorne called to him before turning back to Cordelia, “So, what’s on your mind? You look like you need to talk about something, and bad.”
“I’m fine,” she lied, putting on her best fake smile.
“Cordelia Chase. You should know by now you can’t fool me. I know when something is wrong, and you are definitely giving off some painful vibes right now,” he frowned and sighed deeply, “you don’t have to talk to me sweetie, but you can’t bottle it up either. Why don’t you sing? That’s a nice way to get it all out.”
“You just want me to sing,” she laughed slightly.
“Maybe,” he winked at her, “Come on Cordy. Promise you’ll feel better.”
“Maybe after a few more tequilas.”
About four tequilas later, Cordelia was flipping through a song book by the stage with Lorne looking over her shoulder.
“I told you, no Whitney, Aretha, or Christina sweetie. We wouldn’t want them rolling over in their non-existent graves, now would we?”
“Hey! Watch it buddy!” she glared at him, “I may be drunk, but I can still kick your ass,” she said with slightly slurred speech.
“Not in here you can’t,” he said with slight relief in his voice, “Now sweetie, why don’t we go for some nice Madonna, or oh look, Britney! I’m sure you could sing her under the table!”
“OOO!” Cordelia squealed, “I love this song!” she pointed wildly at the book, “This one. I’m singing this one,” she smiled widely.
“Great choice,” he said, without much enthusiasm, “I don’t hear that one enough,” he mumbled sarcastically under his breath.
Cordelia ran up on stage, and readied the microphone. Apparently, the alcohol had raised her spirits because she was bouncing around on stage as she did her rendition of “I Will Survive.” She finished up and did a little curtsey before walking off stage.
“You know what Lorne? You were totally right,” she nodded, “I feel soooo much better. I mean, who cares if that asshole Angel wants to have hot and sweaty wild nights with evil vampires and not tell anyone, right? Because he doesn’t matter. He’s…he’s…” she paused for a moment, “he a crap weasel!” Cordelia said as the walked over to the bar. She picked up her now full glass of tequila.
“A crap weasel?” Lorne asked, “Cordy sweetie, that’s it. I’m cutting you off,” he told her, taking the glass out of her hand.
“What? No!” she said reaching for the glass.
“Sorry honey, but I don’t want to be responsible for anything you may do while either under the influence of this or trying to lie through the hangover you are going to have when you show up at the office in the morning.”
“Pfft. I am so not going to the office tomorrow. Angel’s sorry ass can have his own visions,” she slammed her hand down on the bar.
“This whole Darla thing is really effecting you isn’t it honey?”
“What? Pssh. No way. What or who Angel does in his spare time is none of my business,” she said, looking away from him.
“Honey, again, who are you talking to here? I know that it bothers you.”
“Look, Angel can screw whoever he wants. I just want to be at a bar and wallow. Which is what I am doing. I’m wallowing. And tomorrow I will wake up with all the wallow out of my system, and I will go back to being Angel’s vision girl. I won’t complain, and I’ll let Wes get all ‘Oh! Baby vampire! Its such a miracle!’” she said, mocking Wesley’s accent.
“Did you just say-” Lorne began, but she cut him off before he could finish.
“Miracle my ass. This is a disaster. A disaster I tell you. Darla? A mother? Come the hell on! That’s gotta be like, the universes practical joke on earth!” Cordelia continued her rant, “And Angel? Mr. BroodyPants? A father? Like he could even raise a DOG!”
“Cordelia. Calm down and tell Lorne that this isn’t some hallucination brought on by the tequila,” he said calmly.
“No, I’m NOT going to calm down. You know what? I think I am going to go home, and leave an angry message on his answering machine. Or well, the offices answering machine. Because I am so not coming to work tomorrow. He LIED. Lied to me and everything. You don’t lie to Cordelia Chase. You just don’t. Thanks Lorne,” she smiled at him, “you were a big help!” she hugged him tightly and began out of the bar.
Cordelia walked out of the bar a lot more happy than she had walked in. Apparently alcohol was good for her. She began walking down the alley, searching through her purse for a stake, “you can never be too careful,” she mumbled.
She walked as she fumbled. Apparently not a good idea. She hadn’t gotten a foot before she bumped right into someone. Or at least, she hoped it was someone. And not something. She had a stake, but she wasn’t sure she could fight anything off what with the dizziness that was forming and all.
“In a hurry?” a male voice asked.
“Oh good, you’re human,” she breathed a sigh of relief, looking up, “Hey! You’re Lindsey! I know you! You’re evil! And not supposed to be in LA!” her speech slurred as she began to raise her voice.
“I’m not?” he was slightly amused at the situation, “I wasn’t aware that Angel and his band of heroes could place restrictions on who comes in and out of the city.”
“Angel. Pfft. And, well, we can’t. But you went all evil handed and told Angel you weren’t coming back! I remember!” she argued.
“Well, I lied,” he smirked slightly, “we evil handed people sometimes do that.”
“You know, Angel was right, you are very very annoying.”
“And you’re drunk.”
“What? No way!” she lied, “besides, what if I was? Likes its any of your business, Born Again Boy?” she paused, “Or is it Born Again Again Boy now? I lost track. Di you come back for another six figure salary? Or did they just offer you some gold coins?”
“Hey, give me some credit here. I’m not with Wolfram and Hart anymore.”
“Yeah, right. What is this? Some ‘send the cute guy with the swoon-worthy voice to win over Angel’s vision girl’ plan? Because its not gonna work buddy. I see right through you.”
“You think I have a swoon-worthy voice huh?” he smirked slightly, very amused at how open Cordelia was when drunk.
“No. That’s not what I meant.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, pausing, “so what brings you to this side of town alone? I thought you hero-champion types stuck together.”
“What? Like I have to follow him around like a puppy dog? No. He’s my boss, or well, Wesley’s my boss. Angel’s just. A crap weasel! And he and his bitchy crap weasel blonde bitch can go do whatever they want whenever they want. Its not my business.”
“Whoa. Looks like I hit a touchy subject,” he laughed slightly, thinking over what she said, “He’s a crap weasel?”
“Why does everyone get so surprised by that word? Yes. He is a crap weasel. A weasel of crap. Its not that hard of a concept!” she retorted.
“Okay. Got it. Crap weasel. Remind me never to run into you drunk again,” he said, rolling his eyes slightly.
“Like you could!”
“What?” he laughed, “Was that supposed to be insulting? I’m thinking alcohol? Not good for your verbal barb skills.”
“Pfft.”
“Pfft? That’s all you can come up with? Pfft?”
“Why? Do you have something against the word pfft?”
“Its just not a good insult or a word for that matter,” he laughed slightly, followed by a brief pause, “look, I know you hate me and all, but you shouldn’t be walking around LA at night drunk. Alone. Let me make sure you get home okay.”
“I don’t need you to make sure I get home okay. I can get home okay alone. I’ve done a bagillion times!”
“Again. Not a word,” he chuckled a bit.
“Bite me.”
“Nah, wouldn’t want to take advantage of you in your drunken state,” he smirked at her.
“Oh please, that wasn‘t high school at all!” she said, beginning to walk off.
“Come on Cordelia, I’m serious. I was just going to stop off and sing a song for Lorne, but you shouldn’t walk home alone.”
“You promise you don’t have some ulterior motive? Like oh? Knocking me unconscious and taking me back to Wolfram and Hart so they can do some kind of experiment on my vision filled brain?”
“You have my word,” he smiled softly at her.
“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes, “that’s what I’m afraid of,” she paused for a moment, trying to figure out whether she should believe him or not.
Blame the alcohol, but right now she trusted him more than she trusted Angel.
Anyone wondering? The title came to me because I was thinking of the Sugar Ray song "Falls Apart."
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 01:43 pm (UTC)*bounces abaout yelling crapweasel*
You know I love this, but I'll say it again. LOVE this. can't wait to see what your evil evil muse has planned.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 01:53 pm (UTC)*will incorporate that into everyday vocab like spermtastic and paramasturbatory*
You don't wanna know Tonnie. She's evil. Eviiiil.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 01:56 pm (UTC)And yes, paramasturbatory and spermtastic. I still need to make icons with those...lol
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 01:58 pm (UTC)*loves
Cher! And Josh! Sigh! They were seriously like my first ever OTP. *nods*
*needs to watch this now*
*such a dork*
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 01:49 pm (UTC)*eyes muse* You are NOT thinking of writing ficcy, nosir, you are not... lol...
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 01:55 pm (UTC)I <3 Drunk!Cordy. She's fun. *nods*
no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 02:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 02:25 pm (UTC)Sorry we seem to keep just missing each other on AIM. You always seem to IM me just as I'm heading off. This week has just been *insanely* busy for me!
And thank you! *bounces away with the iconnage*