FIC: Going Back to What (Brendon/Jon)
Feb. 10th, 2008 01:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ohnoitsshirleyGoing Back to What
Brendon/Jon, Jon/Spencer, Brendon/Pete, a few more sprinkled in
9717 words; PG-13
Brendon doesn't want to be thirteen anymore.
If you got here by googling your own name, what the hell are you doing reading fic? I mean, I guess I can stop you, but really. You don't want to read this. I promise. So hit that little green arrow, Pete Wentz. Also, so very beyond real that it's not funny.
This is my fic for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
romanticbandom, for which I claimed the movie 13 Going on 30.
Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lexicon for putting up with my stressing and random IM snippets and for reading the finished piece and telling me whether or not I actually did the plot justice. Thanks so much to shutyourface for the amazing beta job. It's mostly because of her that this is readable. Any mistakes you see are mine.
I stole the title from 504plan's Kissing Old Friends, which I sort of listened to on repeat while writing this thing.
Brendon’s day had gone from bad to worse to worst day ever in rapid succession. He was not exactly in the celebrating mood, but there was Jon, grinning in front of him holding out a cupcake.
“I don’t want it. You eat it.”
“But it’s your birthday. And you love cupcakes.” Jon’s face was all scrunched up in confusion. Brendon, under normal circumstance, would have laughed at this, but right now he was just annoyed with Jon’s presence. He wanted to go home. “Oh, hey. Your pictures were awful weren’t they?”
And okay, maybe Jon knew Brendon better than anyone else, but that didn’t stop him from being annoyed that Jon knew that just by his mood. “Dude, don’t even worry about that. Mine sucked too. That’s like a rule of school pictures.”
“Shut up, Jon.” Brendon was aware that he wasn’t acting like the teenager that he now was, but damn it. He wanted to pout.
“Look, Bren. Just give them to your mom, let her send them to every family member ever, even the ones you’ve never met and then forget about them. They’ll only come back to haunt you later. You don’t have to worry about it right now.”
Jon thought he was being funny. He was not. Jon was spectacularly unfunny. Brendon was about to tell him this when he heard his name from somewhere down the hall.
“Brendon. Hey, Brendon.” Ryan Ross, one of the most popular kids in Brendon’s class, rushed up to him. Ryan never talked to Brendon. “I know we don’t talk much or anything but -- oh hey.” He looked at Jon. “Are you busy? This can wait.”
“Oh. Oh, no. We were done. I’ll see you later, Jon?” Jon shrugged and Brendon tried to ignore the kind of pathetic look on his face. And the fact that they had walked home together every day for the last three years.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever. I’ll see you later. Happy Birthday.”
“Oh, it’s your birthday?” Ryan smiled. “Happy Birthday.” And the thing was, Brendon didn’t even think that Ryan Ross knew his name. Because, well, Ryan was kind of awesome, and Brendon was really lame.
“Thanks. Uh, did you need something?” Because Brendon was lame, but he wasn’t stupid, and if Ryan was talking to him, he probably wanted something.
“Actually, yeah. Brent and I, we need a third person to be in our group for Mrs. Hanson‘s, and I noticed you didn’t really talk to anyone in there and thought maybe you would want to be in our group?”
Brendon kind of hated working in groups. He was much better working on his own because he inevitably ended up doing all of the work. But this was Ryan asking, so. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
“Awesome. Maybe we can come over tonight? You’re not busy, are you?”
“No.” Jon would understand that they can’t do their traditional birthday sleepover. It was Ryan Ross. “Yeah, come over around six. Also, it’s my birthday, so there’s going to be cake.”
“Cake. Hey, cool. We’ll be there.”
Suddenly the day didn’t seem so bad. Brendon smiled as he walked home.
-
The thing was, Ryan was cooler than Brendon would ever be. He played guitar and wrote music and was always talking about the band that he was going to start some day. It was kind of awesome, and Brendon thought that maybe if he could get on Ryan’s good side, he could be a part of that.
Brendon couldn’t believe that Ryan Ross and Brent Wilson were going to be at his house that night. He would have to make sure that his parents left them alone. And he had to find something to wear that didn’t make him look like a loser. Everything he owned made him look like a loser. He was going to have to convince his mom that now that he was a teenager he would decide on his own wardrobe.
Brendon would probably not admit this to Ryan, but at 5:30 he was dressed in what he thought was the coolest thing in his closet, sitting on the sofa waiting for the doorbell to ring. His excuse was that he had to make sure that his mom didn’t answer the door. That would be nearly tragic.
The doorbell rang at 5:37, and Brendon jumped up to answer it. It was not Ryan Ross and Brent Wilson.
“Jon.” He didn’t even pretend to hide his disappointment.
“Hey, so, what’s the plan for tonight? There’s cake, right?” He walked in the house without being invited and thrust a bag at Brendon. “I brought movies. And a present, but you can’t have it yet.”
“Jon, you can’t be here.”
“What? Why not? I thought we were celebrating your birthday.”
“Ryan’s coming over.”
“Ryan Ross? You’re spending your birthday with Ryan Ross?” Jon sighed. “Okay, yeah. Whatever, but hey. Do you have 10 minutes? Because I really want to give you this.”
Brendon sighed and really, Jon was his best friend, so it’s not like he could say no. And Jon at least seemed to understand how important this thing with Ryan was.
“Yeah, okay. Let’s go to my room.”
“What’s Ryan coming over here for, anyway?”
“To work on a project. I figure though, maybe it’s my way in. Do you know how huge this is, Jon?” Brendon couldn’t help but smile. He was sure this was going to be his best birthday ever. “I mean, finally, my life is going to get awesome.”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s cool, Brendon.” Brendon was glad Jon understood. “So, hey, I have this thing for you.” He held up a big package that was wrapped messily. “Here, I guess you can open it now. I was going to make you wait, but.”
The thing about Jon was that he always had a camera around his neck. He’d somehow convinced his parents to buy him this really expensive camera for him on this twelfth birthday. It was kind of amazing, really because he got away with taking pictures of everything. Mostly, he took pictures of Brendon and Brendon’s parents and siblings and his own family and just things he thought looked interesting.
What Brendon didn’t expect was that the package was this completely elaborate photo album with tons of pictures or Brendon and Jon and Brendon-and-Jon and their parents and places they’d been together. It was insane and amazing and exactly the reason why Jon Walker was his best friend.
“Wow, Jon. You must have spent weeks on this.”
“It was nothing. It was fun, actually. I hope you like it?”
“I totally like it. I love it! Thank you, Jon.”
“Yeah, you’re--” The door bell cut him off.
“Oh! That’s Ryan. Jon, you have to go. I’ll see you later, though, yeah? Maybe we can hang out tomorrow night.”
“Wait, I. There was one more thing. But I left it at home. I have to go get it. I’ll come back and just be like five minutes, tops. I promise.”
“Okay. I guess.” He really didn’t want Jon to ruin any chance he might have to get in with Ryan Ross, but. It was Jon and sometimes it was really hard for Brendon to tell him no.
“Awesome. I’ll be back, okay.” Jon ran out of the room just as Ryan and Brent walked in.
“Was that Jon Walker? What’s he doing here?” Ryan looked behind him with distaste.
“Oh, nothing. He. He’s my neighbor is all. Sometimes I’m nice to him.” Okay, he shouldn’t lie about Jon.
“Oh. That’s fine, I guess. Okay, we need to get started.”
“Actually.” Brendon pulled out a piece of paper. “I’ve actually worked on some of it? I mean, it’s not done, but maybe we can use it to start with?”
Ryan and Brent shared a look. “Oh, hey, awesome. Hey, could we maybe get something to drink?”
“Oh, yeah. Awesome. I’ll be right back.” Brendon was getting three bottles of water and some snacks, just in case when he heard the door slam. That would have to be Jon. He threw grabbed a couple more things and ran back up the stairs.
When he got to his room, Ryan and Brent were gone and Jon was standing there. Any other time Brendon would have stopped to ask Jon why he had a guitar suddenly, but right now he was just thinking that Jon must have said something to make Ryan and Brent leave.
“Where are they?”
“What? Who? Oh, you mean Ryan and Brent? They were on their way out whenever I came in.”
“You’re lying.”
“What? Dude, no, I’m not. Why would I lie about that?”
“You’re just jealous that Ryan wanted to talk to me and not you. That’s horrible of you, Jon. You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“What? Brendon, seriously. Calm down.”
“Get out!” Brendon grabbed the first thing he saw, the photo album that Jon had given him, and maybe threw it a little harder than necessary against the wall. “Get out of here! I never want to talk to you again.”
And Jon didn’t argue. He looked hurt and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t argue. “Sorry,” he mumbled before leaving the room.
Brendon just wanted to go to bed and wake up and not be thirteen anymore.
-
Brendon’s alarm went off at what felt like way too early. And it sounded different than usual. He rolled over to hit snooze without opening his eyes. His bed felt bigger than it had when he went to sleep the night before. And what the hell kind of music was that playing? And where was it coming from? Between the alarm and the two lines of music that were repeating themselves from somewhere in the room, Brendon was confused.
And oh, wow. This was not his room. What the hell? He jumped out of bed, ignoring the alarm and music and left the room. He stopped when he passed the mirror in the hallway. He was. Well, he could see his features, but they were older. And he had awesome hair. But this was. This was not normal. He was kind of freaking out. He needed to call his parents. He needed to tell Jon.
But first he probably needed to change out of his pajamas. And figure out why the shower was running.
He started toward the bathroom but a stack of envelopes caught his eye. They were all addressed to Brendon. Brendon Urie, Brendon Urie, Brendon Urie. So this was actually his apartment. And he was not thirteen. He was moving past confused and freaking out to kind of ecstatic and freaking out.
The shower stopped running and he heard a muffled voice coming from the bathroom. He couldn’t understand what the voice was saying, and he didn’t really want to ask. Why was someone else in his bathroom?
“Oh, hey, you are awake. Why the fuck is the alarm still going off?”
Brendon stared. A lot. There was a man toweling himself off in the doorway of his bathroom who was covered in tattoos. Lots of tattoos. His hair was sticking up everywhere.
“Who are you?” Brendon finally said. “What are you doing in my house?”
The guy laughed. “That’s funny, Sugarbutt. You’re funny. Hey, are you feeling okay?”
“I don’t know you! And where is that music coming from!?”
“Uhm.” The guy dropped the towel and Brendon covered his eyes. He did not want to see random naked guy in his house.
“Oh my God, put that thing away.”
“I was just going to. Here.” He handed Brendon a messenger bag. “In there. Music? Are you freaking out?”
“No, I am not freaking out! I’m going …somewhere! When I get back I want you out of my house!”
Brendon took the bag from the naked guy and ran out. It turns out his house was actually an apartment. He got outside and looked around for anything familiar, but there was nothing. And that music was still coming from inside his bag. What the hell was that?
A limo pulled up at the curb and a tall, skinny, somewhat distantly familiar looking guy stepped out. “God, Brendon? What the hell? I’ve been trying to get call you for like half an hour. Here, take this.” He shoved a cup in Brendon’s face. “We have a staff meeting in like fifteen minutes, and it takes twenty to get the office. What the fuck are you wearing?”
“Uhm.”
“Oh my God, answer your phone!”
“My phone?”
The skinny guy rolled his eyes and reached into Brendon’s bag and pulled out a tiny little phone. “Hello? No, this is Ryan.” Ryan? “I don’t know. I think he’s freaking out. He’ll call you back later.” He handed the phone back to Brendon. “That was Pete. Call him back after the meeting. He sounded like he was about to fucking cry or something.”
Brendon followed Ryan into the limo.
“What? Who? Are you Ryan Ross?”
“Of course I’m Ryan Ross. Who else would I be? My God, what is wrong with you today, Brendon?”
“I don’t know. I woke up and everything was different! There’s this man in my apartment that I don’t know, and he was naked! And called me Sugarbutt. And then I kept hearing this music from nowhere, which was apparently a phone, and I need to call my mom and Jon and ---”
“Whoa, okay, seriously. First of all, good job on the random guy in your apartment. I wouldn’t tell Pete, though. He’s kind of weird about people sleeping with his boyfriend. Second of all, how much did you have to drink last night, because I’m pretty sure when I left you weren’t that wasted.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Yes. Okay, seriously, Brendon. This meeting is important, and Vicky’s being a bitch about it, so do me a favor and try not to show everyone in the office that you’re freaking out.”
He just nodded. Maybe he was freaking out. It was the only explanation for why he couldn’t remember the last however many years.
“How old am I?” he asked.
“Seriously, Brendon. Seriously. What the hell.”
“No, Ryan. Seriously! I went to bed and I was thirteen! And now I can’t remember anything and---!”
“Okay, seriously. No. I’m not playing along. We’re going to this meeting, and then you’re going to go home and sleep. I’ll tell Pete not to bother you until you’re good and rested and acting like you’re thirty years old again.”
“What? I’m thirty?”
Ryan just rolled his eyes. “We’re here. Get out.”
Brendon worked for a record company. It was kind of amazing. His boss, Victoria, wore amazing baby doll dresses and was kind of a bitch, and Brendon and Ryan were pretty much her right hand men. He was ecstatic.
The staff meeting was kind of disappointing though.
It started out well enough. Brendon’s assistant had come in, and Brendon had given him instructions to call Jon. He had to tell Jon about how amazing all of this was. Then it just got bad.
“Seriously, guys. This is ridiculous. The last five bands, we’ve tried to sign, Schechter has stolen from us. Plus, they‘ve already taken a handful of bands that we‘ve had signed to us for years. We need to find out why this is happening and stop it. I don’t want to think any of you are feeding them information, but what am I supposed to think?” She sighed. “Now, we’ve got another chance. There’s this band coming in this afternoon. It’s pretty much our last shot. If we don’t get them, well. I don’t really want to think about it. We have to land them. If you have any ideas, I want to hear them.”
The table was dead silent.
“Okay. Well, first thing’s first, we show them a good time. When they get on Friday, we’re throwing a party. Let’s show them a good time, okay? If you have any other ideas, let me know. Now get to work.”
People started leaving the meeting room. Brendon was the last one out. His assistant, Patrick, was waiting by the door.
“Okay, I couldn’t ---”
“Hang on!” Brendon grabbed Patrick by the arm and dragged him into his office. “Okay. Go.”
“Jon Walker isn’t living at this number anymore, but his parents are. They gave me his phone number and an address when I told them it was for you.”
“Patrick, you are my favorite. Thank you so much.” Patrick looked confused, like maybe he wasn’t used to being thanked, but Brendon just kept right on grinning at him. “I’m going to head out early today. Tell Ryan that I went to get some rest, so he won’t think I’m freaking out, okay?”
Patrick just sort of nodded. Brendon was already half way out the building.
-
Brendon was nervous. He didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, but it had to have been a while. He was just staring at Jon’s name on the buzzer. He didn’t know how to even begin to tell Jon what was going on. He would probably think Brendon was insane, just like Ryan did. Jon would probably tell him to go home and go to bed and he’d be over later with some lame movie that they saw in junior high and still couldn’t get enough of. God, they probably had tons of inside jokes that Brendon couldn’t remember. He mentally kicked himself for being stupid because this was Jon and Jon was awesome and his best friend, and it would be okay. He pushed the buzzer.
It felt like forever before Jon answered. “Hello?”
“Jon? It’s Brendon. Hey.”
“What? Uhm, I can’t hear you? Is this the take out?”
“What? No. It’s Brendon?” Brendon was going to bolt, he thought. He didn’t actually know if he could handle seeing Jon like this.
“What? Okay, no. This isn’t working. I’ll just let you up.”
The intercom clicked off and then the door clicked. Brendon opened it cautiously. He probably shouldn’t be nervous about seeing Jon, but. Jon was going to think he was crazy. He tapped on the door and waited.
“Hey, how much do I--” he stopped. “You’re not the take out.”
“Uhm, no. Hi Jon.”
“Hi. Brendon? What are you doing here?”
“Jon, seriously.” He didn’t even wait to be invited in. He pushed past Jon and started pacing around his living room. “I don’t know what’s going on. I woke up this morning and everything was different, and Ryan says I’m freaking out. And there was this strange naked man in my apartment and some guy named Pete keeps calling me and I don’t know what’s going on. I think I don’t talk to my parents anymore, Jon. And I work for this really awesome record company, but I don’t remember any of it, and I just. I don’t know what’s going on. And you think I’m crazy just like everyone else, but.”
“Brendon. Brendon. Slow down. What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m freaking out? I always come to you when I’m freaking out.”
“No. You always used to come to me when you were freaking out. Brendon, we haven’t spoken since high school or something.”
“What?” Brendon felt like maybe his world was collapsing. “Wait. We. What? Jon, that’s insane. You’re my best friend.”
“No. Ryan Ross is your best friend. I’m just some guy who used to live next door to you when we were younger.”
“Oh God.” Brendon fell back onto what was luckily the sofa and not the floor. “What? No. No, that’s wrong. I don’t-- No.”
“I’m sorry.” Jon frowned a little. “Do you want anything?”
“No. I just. Can I sit here for a minute?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Jon sighed. “Look, Bren, I really am sorry. We just. Things change, you know?”
“What happened, though? Why did we stop …?” He couldn’t really get his mind around it. He got mad at Jon sometimes, but the one thing he was ever sure about was that he was always going to be friends with Jon. No matter what.
“Your thirteenth birthday, I guess. You threw a photo album and told me that you never wanted to speak to me again and then you didn’t.”
“But I-- I didn’t mean it. I was just-- I’m sorry, Jon. I guess I ruined everything.”
“No, Brendon, really. We just moved on. People don’t stay friends forever.”
Brendon was hearing it, but he couldn’t make himself believe it. Yesterday Jon has been his best friend. Jon had been making stupid, ridiculous jokes and tolerating Brendon even when Brendon was being really lame and being generally awesome. Today they haven’t spoken in fifteen years, and it doesn’t make sense.
“Can we just-- I understand if you don’t want to, but can we just hang out for a little while? I kind of don’t want to go home.”
Jon looked like he was considering it and then nodded. “Yeah, okay. The take out is going to be here soon, but there should be enough for two.”
Brendon smiled. Maybe this would be okay after all.
-
“Wait, I was in a band?” They had ended up back at Brendon’s apartment, minus the naked guy, and they were looking at all of his old yearbooks.
Jon wasn’t accusing him of freaking out or anything, which he really appreciated. What Jon was doing, was trying to help him get a better idea of what had gone on since the last day he remembers. It was nice of him, considering they apparently weren’t even friends anymore.
“Yeah, with Ryan and Brent. You guys weren’t bad, I guess. You played a lot of house parties, but then Brent went away to school and you and Ryan stayed here.”
“Jon?” Brendon paused and waited for Jon to say something, but he didn’t. “Look, I don’t know what happened. I really don’t, but I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, yeah?” He jumped up. “I have to go. I’ve got kind of a busy day.”
“Oh, hey. There’s this party tonight. The record company’s throwing it. Do you, uh. You could come? We could hang out? I think they’re sending a limo for me.” Brendon kind of liked getting driven around in a limo.
“Maybe? I can stop by if I’m not busy. Bye, Brendon.” Jon smiled, kind of weakly. “I’ll just see myself out.”
Brendon really needed to know how everything in his life got so screwed up.
-
On the plus side, Brendon had a really amazing wardrobe. His closet was filled with lots of expensive things that he never could have dreamed of owning when he was thirteen. It was amazing. He went through it, trying to find the perfect outfit for the party, especially considering that he’d basically worn his pajamas all day.
It only took him a couple of hours to decide what to wear. And the shoes. So many shoes. He didn’t quite understand why he needed so many shoes, but apparently his future self was really into them.
He tried on more pairs of slacks than he could count before he finally settled on a pair that he thought looked the best. He barely managed to be ready in time, and was out the door five minutes before the limo was supposed to meet him downstairs. He wasn’t sure about the details of his life. He didn’t know how he got so awesome, but he was. His life was so awesome.
There was a girl his age, or what used to be his age standing on the other end of the elevator, purposefully avoiding eye contact.
“Hi,“ he grinned at her. “I’m Brendon!”
“I’m Ashlee.” Her smile wasn’t nearly as big as his.
“Awesome.” He nodded. “How old are you, Ashlee?”
“Thirteen.”
“Oh! Awesome. So am I. …I mean, I was. Years ago. That’s a great age, thirteen.”
She looked at him like he was crazy, which he was actually starting to think might not be far from the truth. But he still felt thirteen. He couldn’t help it. “Uh, right,“ she said. “Nice pants.”
“Seriously, though. Don’t they make my butt look great?”
She honest to God giggled, just as the elevator came to a stop. “Bye, Ashlee! I’ll see you later!”
He had a party waiting for him.
-
The party was not as amazing as Brendon had expected. The DJ was kind of lame for a record company and everyone was just sort of standing around.
“There you are!” Vicky ran up to him. “We need to do something. This party is dying. Or maybe it’s already dead. I can’t tell.”
“I told you this was going to be a disaster.” Ryan sounded bored, but Brendon had noticed that Ryan pretty much always sounded bored, so maybe that wasn’t saying much.
“It’s not …that bad.” Brendon lied. He thought that was probably just good manners. Don’t tell your boss their party sucked. It seemed like a good idea.
“Don’t humor me, Urie. I sign your paychecks.” There was a shrill ring and Vicky took a small phone out of her pocket. “What? What do you mean they’re not ---Okay, no. I’ll be right there.” She groaned and slammed the phone shut. “Okay. Hold that thought. I have to go stop a disaster from happening.”
“I’m going to go get a drink.” Ryan said. “I’m going to need one to make it through this.”
Brendon thought that maybe sounded like a good idea. His parents were one hundred percent against alcohol, but dude. He could legally buy alcohol at thirteen. He’d be crazy not to do it.
He walked up to the bar. “Hi, can I have something fruity?” He didn’t actually know the names of any drinks. That wasn’t his fault. He was only thirteen.
“What?”
“I don’t care. Anything.” He paused. “Do you want to see my ID?” He had it out before the bartender could answer.
Whatever he had gotten, it was good. Really good. And he drank three more before his head started swimming a little bit but in a totally good way. He liked alcohol. Especially whatever kind this was. Maybe rum. Or tequila.
“So, this is the big party?” A guy who was really skinny and had long hair and didn’t look like he belonged came up to Brendon and started talking to him. “Well, at least I know what the competition is up to.”
“What?”
“Wow, Brendon. You’ve had a bit too much to drink.”
“What do you want, Beckett?” Ryan walked over. Brendon was glad for that because apparently he was supposed to know who this person was and he had no idea.
“Just came to check out the competition. I don’t think it was necessary anyway. This party sucks. And isn’t there supposed to be a band here or something?”
“Get the fuck out, William. This party is invitation only.”
“And it looks like half of the invites got lost in the mail.”
Brendon didn’t like this William person. He didn’t seem very nice. Ryan opened his mouth to bite back but William was already heading out the door. Brendon was glad for it.
“Why do you let him talk to you like that? Seriously, Brendon. Just tell him to go away.” Ryan said. “Come on, Vicky wants to introduce us to the band.”
Brendon followed Ryan to Vicky, who was standing over in the corner talking to five guys who seemed anything but interested. And they didn’t really fit in with the décor of the party or the music that was playing.
“Brendon, Ryan. This is My Chemical Romance. Uhm, let me see if I can get this right.” She plastered on what Brendon was sure was a fake smile. “Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Ray and Bob. Did I get it?”
“That’s right.” The prettiest one, Gerard, said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Brendon and Ryan are the best we’ve got. If you need anything, you can ask either one of them.”
Brendon looked up and saw Jon walk through the door. He honestly had started to think that Jon wasn’t coming. And now he was here. Brendon smiled and forgot what he was doing. “Hold that though, okay Vicky. I have to …go!”
He rushed over to Jon and grinned. “You came! Awesome! This is so great, Jon. That girl over there in the baby doll dress is my boss, and she’s like. The coolest person ever. And then Ryan and that’s a band. That we’re trying to sign. I can’t even believe this is my life. And you’re here.”
“Uhm, yeah.” Jon looked a little nervous, like he thought he didn’t belong. “Look, I just wanted to stop by because I said I would.”
“No. You’re staying. Jon Walker, you are going to stay, and you are going to like it.”
“Really, Brendon, I--”
“Brendon Urie, you’re lucky I like you or I would have fired your ass for that. What was so important that you walked away in the middle of meeting a very important band?”
“I’m sorry, Vicky. I just--”
“No.” She put a hand up. “I don’t want to hear it. You need to do something. I’ve tried everything I can think of, and the band is getting bored as hell. They’re two seconds away from signing with Schechter. And I love Ryan, but he’s dying over there. They hate him.”
Brendon glanced over and sure enough the band looked unimpressed. Completely unimpressed. Brendon felt sorry for Ryan. “I’m sorry, Jon. It looks like I have to take care of this. I’ll be back, okay?”
“I’ll try not to keep him too long.” Vicky dragged Brendon back over to where Ryan was trying to impress the band.
“Okay, so!” Brendon clapped his hands together. “Ryan, I can handle this. Why don’t you go get another drink.” Brendon was damn well going to do this right if he had to do it.
“Yeah, Ryan. Go get a drink.” Vicky shot him a look. Ryan shot glares at both Vicky and Brendon before turning around without a second look.
He could be mad for all Brendon cared. All he really wanted was too do what Vicky wanted him to do and impress the shit out of this band so that he could go back and talk to Jon. But when he turned around to look, Jon was already gone.
-
The restaurant was really crowded that night. Brendon and Ryan had managed to get a nice spot at that bar, away from the crowds of families and teenagers. Ryan had insisted, and Brendon hadn’t argued because, well, bar.
“So, then he just left. Can you believe that?” Brendon and Ryan were out having drinks. Apparently it was something they did. Brendon looked down at the nearly empty drink in his hand. “This is really good.”
“Yeah.” Ryan paused. “Okay, not that I’m not grateful for the trip down memory lane here, but why the hell are you going to see Jon Walker and inviting him to our parties now?”
“What? Why not? He’s my best friend.”
“Brendon. You haven’t spoken to the guy in years. He’s not your best friend. Have you been seeing your therapist? Because I think you need to.”
“I have a therapist?”
Ryan just stared at him. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to go over to that guy who’s checking you out, ask if you can buy him a drink, maybe go home with him and forget all about this minor nervous break down you seem to be happening wherein you think we’re back in eighth grade.”
“I’m not. Wait. What guy?” Brendon looked around. “Oh, that guy. He’s cute. Do you think I should go up to him? Really?”
“Okay, seriously? Yes. I do think. It’s not like you’re married or anything. Pete doesn’t have to know. Especially since you guys seem to having an off again period.”
Brendon doesn’t know who Pete is, except that Ryan keeps saying Pete is his boyfriend. He thinks it’s probably weird that he hasn’t met his boyfriend yet. He also thinks it’s kind of weird that he has a boyfriend, but it’s totally cool.
“Okay. Wish me luck.”
“Yeah. Whatever. Go get him.” Brendon can never tell whether or not Ryan’s getting sarcastic.
He jumped up and walked over to the guy in question. He had to have been a couple years older. Maybe fifteen, sixteen tops, but he was cute.
“Hey, dude. Can I. Uh, borrow your ketchup?”
“Yeah, sure, man.” Cute Guy handed Brendon the ketchup, but before Brendon could take it Ryan was grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away.
“What the fuck, Brendon? Are you trying to get arrested?”
“What?”
“Not him. That guy!”
“Ew. No, that guy’s old.”
Ryan muttered something under his breath and dragged Brendon outside. “Seriously. What is wrong with you?”
“Oh my God.”
“What?”
“That! Across the street! That’s the naked guy! From my apartment.”
“That’s the naked guy?” Ryan actually started laughing. “Man, you’ve really lost it. Seriously. That’s Pete.”
“Pete?”
“Your boyfriend. Pete.”
Naked Guy, Pete apparently, was standing across the street talking to some girl, who had just pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and was asking him to sign something.
“That’s Pete. My boyfriend.” Brendon repeated it to see if it sounded anymore right. “Wait. Why is my boyfriend signing autographs?”
“Because he’s Pete Wentz? He’s kind of a rockstar? He’s in a band. A famous band. A band on our label. Does any of this sound familiar?” Brendon just shook his head.
“Brendon?” Brendon spun around to see Jon coming up the street.
“Jon! Hi!” Brendon was grateful for the distraction from Pete. He actually really didn’t want to talk to him, despite knowing that Pete was his boyfriend. Apparently his rockstar boyfriend.
“Hey, Bren. Look, I’m sorry about the other night. I just, that was kind of not my kind of place.”
“Well, if it isn’t Jon Walker.”
“Ryan. Hi.”
“It’s been a while.”
“Not long enough, actually,” he paused and sighed. “Like I said, Brendon, I’m sorry about the other--”
Brendon noticed a guy coming toward them. More specifically, a guy in tight jeans and a nice button down shirt with hair falling around his face was coming toward Jon. “There you are! Jesus, Jon, I know you don’t like shopping, but-- oh. Who are we talking to?” He looked at Brendon.
“Oh, Spence. Yeah, this Brendon. We went to school together. Brendon, this is Spencer. He’s my, uh, boyfriend.”
“Oh.” Brendon hadn’t seen that coming. Not that he was upset by it or anything. Just a little. Surprised. He would have thought that at some point Jon would have said ‘Hey, by the way, I have a boyfriend!’ Not that it mattered. Because it didn’t.
“Is that Pete Wen--” Jon was mid-sentence and suddenly Pete was pressed close behind Brendon.
“Hey! Bren, what the fuck, man? I’ve been trying to call you for like days. Where have you been?” Pete was suddenly standing right next to him, putting an arm around Brendon’s waist.
“I, uh. Work. I’ve been busy.”
“Oh hey, you have friends. Who are your friends?”
“Oh, right. This is, uhm, Jon Walker. He’s an old friend. And his friend Spencer.”
“Boyfriend,” Spencer corrected him.
“Yeah. Right. Boyfriend. This is Pe--”
“Yeah, Pete Wentz. I know your stuff, man. It’s good,” Jon shook Pete’s hand. Which was weird, and considering the past few days of Brendon‘s life, that was saying something.
“Awesome. It’s always cool to meet a fan, dude!” He squeezed Brendon‘s waist slightly. “Mind if I steal him away from you for a while?”
Brendon was trying to convey with his eyes how much he wanted Jon to say no. He did not want to be in a room alone with Pete and his nakedness and all of his tattoos. It kind of freaked him out a little bit. He would much rather hang out with Jon and his …Spencer.
“Not at all. You two have fun,” Jon smiled and nodded a little bit.
“Oh, we will.” Pete winked and dragged Brendon away. He did not want this. At all.
-
“So, what do you want to do?” Pete pushed Brendon through the door. “Anything at all.”
“Uhm, let’s just watch some TV, okay?” Brendon rushed over and sat down on the sofa.
“Alright? Is something wrong?” Brendon felt kind of bad for Pete, really. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings or anything, but this was not… No. This was not something Brendon wanted to deal with. He was thirteen years old, damn it.
“No, yeah, I’m fine. Just, tired, is all.” Brendon actually hated lying to people. Especially people he thought might care about him, but.
“Okay.” Pete sat close to him on the couch, and it was actually kind of nice. It was comfortable. Until Pete started doing things like kissing his neck and trying to unzip Brendon’s pants.
“Uhm. I have to.” Brendon squirmed a bit. “I have to go… be not here.”
“You’re playing hard to get. It’s kind of adorable if not a little annoying. Now, seriously Brendon. Just relax.” Maybe this Pete guy was actually kind of sleazy.
“No. I--” He tried to bat Pete’s hands away.
“Come on, Sugarbutt.”
Brendon pushed him away and jumped up. “Don’t call me that, okay!” Brendon shuddered. “It’s gross. I’m going home. Stop calling me!”
“Dude. What did I do?”
Brendon didn’t stop to answer before he slammed the door behind him.
-
Brendon loved his job. He couldn’t imagine that his future self didn’t love it. Especially when Vicky came up to him the next morning praising him for a job well done.
Then, he wowed them in the staff meeting with his awesome motivational speech. Who cared if he stole it from book on working in the recording industry. But the way he saw it, they still had time to land My Chemical Romance. They seemed to be impressed with Brendon, at least, even if they didn’t seem to like Ryan. He could do this. He knew he could.
“Patrick, do I have any messages?” Brendon headed into his office.
“Uhm, Pete called for you. Again.”
“Ugh.”
“And that’s it. Oh. No, I lied. Gabe Saporta called for you.”
“Gabe Saporta?”
“He’s Vicky’s …something. I don’t know.”
“Oh.” Brendon shrugged. “Well, I’ve got some work to do, so if I get any important calls.”
“Of course.”
Brendon closed the door behind Patrick and went to his desk, taking out some pens and paper. He had ideas to write down. He had a record company to save! There was a tap at the door, which he thought was probably Ryan.
“Come in.”
“No, you can’t go in--” Brendon heard Patrick say, and then there was a tall guy barging through his door without so much as knocking. He pushed Patrick out of the door frame and closed the door behind him.
“Hey there.”
“Uhm, hi? What are you doing here?” Brendon stayed behind the desk. He didn’t like the look in this guy’s eyes. He looked a little predatory.
“Oh, you know what I’m doing here,” the guy walked around the back of Brendon’s desk and started rubbing at his shoulders. “I came to see Vicky. Had a little extra time because she kicked me out.”
And suddenly Brendon realized who this guy was.
“You’re Gabe!”
Gabe laughed. “Yes, I am. We established that before. Why are you so tense.”
“You’re with Vicky!”
Gabe pulled him up. “That didn’t bother you last week.” He turned Brendon around and pushed him into the desk, kissing him. Brendon pushed him away. “What the hell?” Gabe said with a confused look on his face.
“Ew, get out.” Brendon started wiping at his mouth. “You’re dating my boss!” Brendon hit at him more when he wouldn’t back off. And then he still wouldn’t back off and instinct kicked in, so Brendon kneed him in the crotch and punched him in the face. He thought it probably wasn’t the best idea to do that to his boss’s boyfriend who was way bigger than him, but this guy deserved it.
From the sound of it, Brendon wasn’t exactly innocent, but he really didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to get out of there. He wanted to go …anywhere.
“Jesus Christ, what has gotten into you, Brendon? Fucking psycho.” Gabe gave him one last glare before leaving the room.
Brendon pretended like he didn’t know everyone had stopped what they were doing to try and figure out what was happening in his office and walked back around his desk. He had work to do.
-
When Brendon finally left that afternoon, he passed the staff room where Ryan was talking to someone he didn’t know. He heard the words “Brendon” and “losing his fucking mind” and “going to make Vicky see who’s the best”. Brendon felt like he was going to be sick.
Between his relationship with Pete and whatever with Gabe and his ‘friendship’ with Ryan and Jon having a boyfriend and not knowing basically anything about the last however many years of his life, it was all just too much. Brendon didn’t understand how he had gotten where he was. He didn’t seem like a very nice person with very nice friends, and he didn’t talk to Jon anymore.
And he knew it was a bad idea, knew it with every part of his brain, but god. He was just thirteen years old, and any other time he was run next door to Jon’s house, and there’s nothing else he could think of that he could do. He needed his best friend. He needed Jon.
He got to Jon’s apartment when it was already dark, and he thought maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe Jon was with Spencer and he wouldn’t want Brendon anywhere around, but he had to try.
He pushed the buzzer and hoped to any God there might be that Jon was home and that he answered.
“Hello?”
“Jon? It’s Brendon. Can you, uh? I sort of…” He didn’t know what to say.
There was a long pause before Jon said, “I’ll be right down.”
Jon was down in less than five minutes.
“Hey, Brendon. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. No? I don’t know.” He paused. “Can we walk?”
Jon nodded and they started down the street. Brendon didn’t know how far they’d gone before he got up the courage to actually say something. “Jon, what happened to us?”
“What?”
“I mean, I know what you said. My thirteenth birthday, but you were my best friend. It wasn’t like we’d never fought before. What happened to us? Why did it stop?”
“I don’t know, Bren. Things change. You and Ryan and Brent, you guys became inseparable, and I guess you just didn’t have any need for me anymore.”
Brendon couldn’t imagine not needing Jon anymore. Not then and not now and not ever.
“Look, Brendon. I don’t know what’s going on, why you suddenly had this change of heart and looked me up, but. This is,” Jon sighed. “I think it’s best if we just didn’t. Okay? We’re different people now. You’re a different person.”
Brendon could think of a thousand reasons why that was a bad idea. Why needed Jon around, but they all made him sound thirteen years old. And he felt thirteen, but he wasn’t thirteen. Everyone here thought he was an adult, and this was his life now. He was stuck here, and he had to deal with it.
“Yeah. Right. Sorry. I-- I won’t bother you again. I promise.” Brendon didn’t wait for Jon to respond. He turned around and took off in the other direction. He didn’t know where he was going but he had to go somewhere.
-
He called his parents when he got home. As it turned out, they wanted nothing to do with him. He couldn’t actually say he was surprised. He didn’t seem like the kind of person they would want anything to do with. He was apparently a really awful person.
His apartment was too empty, too small, too everything. His best friend was stabbing him in the back. Everything was just bad. He wanted to go back to thirteen. He wanted to take back everything he ever said about wanting to grow up back. He wanted his best friend and his parents and his room and to have never kicked Jon out of his house that day or invited Ryan Ross over. He wanted to take it back.
He had to get out of his apartment. He didn’t know where he was going to go. He couldn’t go see Jon. He didn’t want to see Ryan. He just had to get out. He closed the apartment door behind him. Ashlee was standing in the hallway, looking like he felt.
“Hey, Ashlee. What’s wrong?”
“Boys suck.”
“Yeah. Yeah, they do. We do. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” she paused. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know? Anywhere? Maybe for ice cream. Does your mom mind if you come?”
“Mom’s not home. She’s somewhere with my sister.”
He nodded and decided to talk Ashlee with him. At least she could maybe understand where he was coming from.
-
“So now Ryan is kind of stabbing me in the back and Jon won’t even talk to me, and it’s just so bad. I don’t know where I messed up.”
“So, this Jon guy, was he like, your boyfriend or something?”
“What? No. No, never. He’s got this boyfriend though. They seem happy together.”
“What about Pete Wentz? I mean, you were dating him, right? I saw you guys together in some magazines? He always said you were just friends in interviews and stuff, but I kind of always thought he was, you know.”
“Yeah. I guess,” Brendon wondered if he should actually be telling her that if Pete had tried to keep it a secret. “I mean, you can’t. Please don’t --”
“I won’t tell anyone,” she smiled. “I’m really awesome at keep secrets.”
Brendon liked Ashlee. She totally understood him. Maybe she could be his best friend now. I mean, it might look weird her hanging out with a thirty year old guy all the time, but he wasn’t really thirty. Technically.
“So, this Jon guy?”
“What about him? I told you, he’s my--”
“Yeah, but you know he’s totally into you, right? I mean, that’s how it always is in the movies. It’s so romantic.”
Brendon didn’t think that was true. Jon seemed really happy with Spencer, and Brendon was apparently already sleeping with one man who was taken. He didn’t need to add his best friend to the list.
“It’s not really. I mean, he’s just, you know. He’s Jon. We’re friends. We were friends. I don’t know. I miss being thirteen.”
“I can’t wait to be older. Being thirteen sucks.”
Brendon laughed. For the first time in a long time, actually. “Yeah. I remember thinking that.” It was only a few days ago that Brendon thought that, but it felt like years ago. “Seriously, Ashlee. Enjoy it while you can.”
The last thing Brendon wanted was for Ashlee to wake up one morning in his position.
-
Brendon had spent all weekend alternating between talking to Ashlee and sitting in his apartment trying to think of a way to save his job. He liked Vicky and he liked working for a record company, and he really wanted to do what he could to land My Chemical Romance.
He was halfway through the door when he spotted Gerard Way walking up. The thing was, he knew Gerard had liked him at the party. He thought that if he could get an in, maybe that would give him some ideas. It seemed like that was the kind of sneaky thing this new him would do. Using people. That was what he did now.
“Hey Gerard. Are you here to see Vicky?”
“Yeah. Brendon, right? We met at the party the other night?”
“Yeah. Where’s the rest of the band?”
“They’re around. Somewhere. To be honest, we’re not into this whole being talked up and jerked around thing. I’m only here because we had a meeting scheduled,” Gerard shrugged. “We just want to play music, you know? This whole business thing, it’s not really us.”
“Yeah. I hear that.” Brendon didn’t really like the business thing either. “Not to be nosy or anything, but you’re talking to Brian Schechter, too?”
“I guess. It’s more like Brian and Vicky are talking to us. No one’s really asked us what we want, you know? They’re just sort of shoving things in our faces.”
And Brendon suddenly realized how easy it actually was.
-
“I don’t know, Brendon.” Vicky bit her lip. “It’s risky.”
“It’s all they want, Vicky. Gerard said so himself. They’re basically tired of record companies throwing offers at them. Sit them down, ask them what they want, and give them what they want. That’s how you’re going to land this band. I’m telling you. They aren’t your typical rockstars.”
Brendon had walked into the building with Gerard and spent a good ten more minutes talking to him. He got a good feel for who Gerard was, and he thought maybe that was how it was supposed to be done. Maybe he had picked a few things up from being in this world.
Gerard was waiting out in the lobby while Brendon talked to Vicky. She was a tough sell.
“I guess. Look, I’ll talk to Gerard. We’ll see how it goes. If we land these guys, Brendon, it’s a huge promotion for you. I give you my word.”
Brendon grinned and nodded. Things were starting to look up in serious ways. He left Vicky’s office and nodded at Gerard on his way out. He was thinking he might stop and gloat to Ryan. That sounded like the best plan ever.
But he stopped by his office and Ryan was already there.
“What are you doing in my office?” Brendon asked.
Ryan was standing there, with a stack of envelopes in his hand and a dark look on his face. “Oh my God, Brendon. Did you think no one was going to find out?”
“Find out what?”
“I found these in your desk.”
He shoved the envelopes in his hand. They were all addressed to Brendon. From Brian Schechter. “What is this? I don’t know what this is.”
“Oh come off it, Brendon. Stop fucking with me. The innocent thing doesn’t work so well anymore. You’ve been working with Schechter for months. Helping him land acts that should have been ours, helping him steal bands that already were. It’s all right there, so don’t even try to lie about it.”
“What are you-- I don’t.” Brendon had figured out some things about himself. He was probably a horrible judge in character. He had bad taste in men. Sometimes he did some pretty questionable things. But he couldn’t possibly be capable of something like this. There’s no way.
“Oh, come off it. You were going to help them land Pete. You’re lucky I didn’t call Vicky. Oh, and Jon Walker stopped by, too. Something about needing to talk to you. I told him something. I can’t remember what.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I think I told him that you said you never wanted to see him again? Something like that. I’ll see you later, Brendon.”
Ryan pushed past Brendon and out of the office.
For probably the tenth time that week, Brendon’s world collapsed underneath him.
-
Brendon read the letters. Then he read the letters again. And again. And he couldn’t believe it. He’d sold out people that he worked with. People that he should have cared about and looked out for.
He’d lost his best friend. First Jon, then Ryan, then Jon again. He didn’t speak to his parents. He slept with men who were taken. He used people. Brendon didn’t like who he had become.
And Jon. Jon had come to see him. And Ryan had said something. If that was true. Brendon didn’t even know if Ryan had been making it up. He had to know. He dug out his phone and dialed Jon’s number.
“Hello?” That wasn’t Jon.
“Uhm, is this Spencer?”
“Yeah. Who is this?”
“Is Jon there? I, uh, this is Brendon. I need to talk to him.”
It was probably not as long as it seemed before the phone changed hands and Jon was saying “hello?” on the other end.
“Jon, hi. Look, I know that you came by the office today, but.”
“Look, Brendon, I stopped at your office to apologize for the other night. I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, and I’m sorry if I made it harder, but--”
“No, Jon, I’m the one who should be apologizing, but. Look, I can’t do this over the phone. Can we meet somewhere? Or something?”
There was a long pause.
“Actually, I’m heading out of town. Spencer and I. We’re, well, we’re having this ceremony thing tomorrow? Not really a wedding, but you know. At my parents house, so.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” There was another long pause. “So I have to go.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. I’ll let you go. Uhm, congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
Brendon hung up the phone. His life really sucked. And okay, maybe Ashlee had been right and he had this tiny thing for Jon, but that didn’t matter now even more than it had before.
-
Brendon got a phone call the next morning from Vicky telling him not to bother coming in. Ryan had told her all about the letters from Brian Schechter that belonged to someone who wasn‘t really him. The landed My Chemical Romance, but only after Brendon got fired and Ryan got promoted.
Brendon thought his future self probably deserved to lose the best job ever at that point.
Brendon didn’t know what he was going to do. He didn’t have a job anymore. He didn’t have friends anymore. Jon was having a non-wedding-thing today, and all he really wanted was for everything to back to normal.
-
Brendon was doing something stupid. He knew he was. Jon was getting married today. Or something like that. And what was he going to do? Stop the ceremony because he maybe had a crush on his best friend. Ex-best friend. Whatever Jon was.
But they did that, right? They had that part in the ceremony where you could stand up and say that you object. They did that. Brendon knew they did that. They always did that.
So he was in a cab going back home, and maybe he could talk to his parents while he was there, find out what had happened to make them stop talking. But first he had to see Jon.
He went into the house and walked to Jon’s old bedroom. Jon looked good in his tux and half-tied tie.
“Brendon.”
“Jon. Hi. I just. I wanted to.” Brendon took a deep breath. “I was just wondering if we could talk?”
“I don’t have long.”
“Yeah, I know. Jon, do you. Did you ever. I’m not doing this right.” Brendon paused. “Okay, so I think what I’m trying to say is that I kind of like you? And don’t get married because that would suck.”
“I’m not getting married.”
“I know, but-- You know what I mean.”
“Brendon,” Jon signed. “Look, Brendon, I know you think …whatever. This has been a weird week and stuff, but I love Spencer. And you and me, that’s. No, it’s not going to happen.”
“Don’t even want to see? Just a little.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do. More than a little. I want to take some time to figure out what the hell is happening here, and why you came back into my life when you did, but I can’t. Spencer’s it for me.”
“Jon.”
“I’m sorry, Brendon. Look, you can stay if you--”
“No. No I’ll go.”
“Hang on, just for a minute?” Jon went into his closet and came out with a photo album. The photo album he’d given Brendon on his birthday. It seemed like forever ago now.
“You kept this?”
“Yeah. I guess I just thought... I don’t know what I thought, but it’s yours, so.”
Brendon nodded. “Yeah. Congratulations. I really do hope you and Spencer are happy.”
Brendon didn’t wait for him to say anything. He didn’t think he could handle it, and he refused to cry because he wasn’t thirteen. He was never going to be thirteen again. He didn’t want to go back to the city.
His parents weren’t home. Their cars were gone. He could sneak in. He remembered where they hid the key. God, he just wanted to go home. He held the photo album close to himself and went inside, went to his old bedroom and curled up in his old bed. His room was still the same.
He just wanted to wake up and be thirteen again.
-
Brendon woke up. It was sunny outside and he was in his old room. And he was wearing the same thing he’d fallen asleep in last night. The same thing he’d been wearing when he kicked Jon out. He was thirteen again.
He jumped out of bed and ran next door and rushed in without knocking. He went up to Jon’s room.
Jon looked up from where he was playing with his camera.
“Brendon?”
“Oh my God. Jon. It is so good to see you! I’m sorry about yesterday! I promise I will never ever kick you out of my house and tell you don’t want to see you. Ever again. Okay?”
“Uhm, okay? Dude, are you alright?”
“I am so very beyond alright. You have no idea.”
Brendon smiled. His life was going to be so awesome.
-
Brendon never became friends with Ryan Ross. Jon never met Spencer Smith. Brendon’s life turned out so awesome.
So I'm pretty happy with how this came out. I don't know though. I'm not the best person to ask!
Brendon/Jon, Jon/Spencer, Brendon/Pete, a few more sprinkled in
9717 words; PG-13
Brendon doesn't want to be thirteen anymore.
If you got here by googling your own name, what the hell are you doing reading fic? I mean, I guess I can stop you, but really. You don't want to read this. I promise. So hit that little green arrow, Pete Wentz. Also, so very beyond real that it's not funny.
This is my fic for
romanticbandom, for which I claimed the movie 13 Going on 30.Thanks to
lexicon for putting up with my stressing and random IM snippets and for reading the finished piece and telling me whether or not I actually did the plot justice. Thanks so much to shutyourface for the amazing beta job. It's mostly because of her that this is readable. Any mistakes you see are mine. I stole the title from 504plan's Kissing Old Friends, which I sort of listened to on repeat while writing this thing.
Brendon’s day had gone from bad to worse to worst day ever in rapid succession. He was not exactly in the celebrating mood, but there was Jon, grinning in front of him holding out a cupcake.
“I don’t want it. You eat it.”
“But it’s your birthday. And you love cupcakes.” Jon’s face was all scrunched up in confusion. Brendon, under normal circumstance, would have laughed at this, but right now he was just annoyed with Jon’s presence. He wanted to go home. “Oh, hey. Your pictures were awful weren’t they?”
And okay, maybe Jon knew Brendon better than anyone else, but that didn’t stop him from being annoyed that Jon knew that just by his mood. “Dude, don’t even worry about that. Mine sucked too. That’s like a rule of school pictures.”
“Shut up, Jon.” Brendon was aware that he wasn’t acting like the teenager that he now was, but damn it. He wanted to pout.
“Look, Bren. Just give them to your mom, let her send them to every family member ever, even the ones you’ve never met and then forget about them. They’ll only come back to haunt you later. You don’t have to worry about it right now.”
Jon thought he was being funny. He was not. Jon was spectacularly unfunny. Brendon was about to tell him this when he heard his name from somewhere down the hall.
“Brendon. Hey, Brendon.” Ryan Ross, one of the most popular kids in Brendon’s class, rushed up to him. Ryan never talked to Brendon. “I know we don’t talk much or anything but -- oh hey.” He looked at Jon. “Are you busy? This can wait.”
“Oh. Oh, no. We were done. I’ll see you later, Jon?” Jon shrugged and Brendon tried to ignore the kind of pathetic look on his face. And the fact that they had walked home together every day for the last three years.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever. I’ll see you later. Happy Birthday.”
“Oh, it’s your birthday?” Ryan smiled. “Happy Birthday.” And the thing was, Brendon didn’t even think that Ryan Ross knew his name. Because, well, Ryan was kind of awesome, and Brendon was really lame.
“Thanks. Uh, did you need something?” Because Brendon was lame, but he wasn’t stupid, and if Ryan was talking to him, he probably wanted something.
“Actually, yeah. Brent and I, we need a third person to be in our group for Mrs. Hanson‘s, and I noticed you didn’t really talk to anyone in there and thought maybe you would want to be in our group?”
Brendon kind of hated working in groups. He was much better working on his own because he inevitably ended up doing all of the work. But this was Ryan asking, so. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
“Awesome. Maybe we can come over tonight? You’re not busy, are you?”
“No.” Jon would understand that they can’t do their traditional birthday sleepover. It was Ryan Ross. “Yeah, come over around six. Also, it’s my birthday, so there’s going to be cake.”
“Cake. Hey, cool. We’ll be there.”
Suddenly the day didn’t seem so bad. Brendon smiled as he walked home.
-
The thing was, Ryan was cooler than Brendon would ever be. He played guitar and wrote music and was always talking about the band that he was going to start some day. It was kind of awesome, and Brendon thought that maybe if he could get on Ryan’s good side, he could be a part of that.
Brendon couldn’t believe that Ryan Ross and Brent Wilson were going to be at his house that night. He would have to make sure that his parents left them alone. And he had to find something to wear that didn’t make him look like a loser. Everything he owned made him look like a loser. He was going to have to convince his mom that now that he was a teenager he would decide on his own wardrobe.
Brendon would probably not admit this to Ryan, but at 5:30 he was dressed in what he thought was the coolest thing in his closet, sitting on the sofa waiting for the doorbell to ring. His excuse was that he had to make sure that his mom didn’t answer the door. That would be nearly tragic.
The doorbell rang at 5:37, and Brendon jumped up to answer it. It was not Ryan Ross and Brent Wilson.
“Jon.” He didn’t even pretend to hide his disappointment.
“Hey, so, what’s the plan for tonight? There’s cake, right?” He walked in the house without being invited and thrust a bag at Brendon. “I brought movies. And a present, but you can’t have it yet.”
“Jon, you can’t be here.”
“What? Why not? I thought we were celebrating your birthday.”
“Ryan’s coming over.”
“Ryan Ross? You’re spending your birthday with Ryan Ross?” Jon sighed. “Okay, yeah. Whatever, but hey. Do you have 10 minutes? Because I really want to give you this.”
Brendon sighed and really, Jon was his best friend, so it’s not like he could say no. And Jon at least seemed to understand how important this thing with Ryan was.
“Yeah, okay. Let’s go to my room.”
“What’s Ryan coming over here for, anyway?”
“To work on a project. I figure though, maybe it’s my way in. Do you know how huge this is, Jon?” Brendon couldn’t help but smile. He was sure this was going to be his best birthday ever. “I mean, finally, my life is going to get awesome.”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s cool, Brendon.” Brendon was glad Jon understood. “So, hey, I have this thing for you.” He held up a big package that was wrapped messily. “Here, I guess you can open it now. I was going to make you wait, but.”
The thing about Jon was that he always had a camera around his neck. He’d somehow convinced his parents to buy him this really expensive camera for him on this twelfth birthday. It was kind of amazing, really because he got away with taking pictures of everything. Mostly, he took pictures of Brendon and Brendon’s parents and siblings and his own family and just things he thought looked interesting.
What Brendon didn’t expect was that the package was this completely elaborate photo album with tons of pictures or Brendon and Jon and Brendon-and-Jon and their parents and places they’d been together. It was insane and amazing and exactly the reason why Jon Walker was his best friend.
“Wow, Jon. You must have spent weeks on this.”
“It was nothing. It was fun, actually. I hope you like it?”
“I totally like it. I love it! Thank you, Jon.”
“Yeah, you’re--” The door bell cut him off.
“Oh! That’s Ryan. Jon, you have to go. I’ll see you later, though, yeah? Maybe we can hang out tomorrow night.”
“Wait, I. There was one more thing. But I left it at home. I have to go get it. I’ll come back and just be like five minutes, tops. I promise.”
“Okay. I guess.” He really didn’t want Jon to ruin any chance he might have to get in with Ryan Ross, but. It was Jon and sometimes it was really hard for Brendon to tell him no.
“Awesome. I’ll be back, okay.” Jon ran out of the room just as Ryan and Brent walked in.
“Was that Jon Walker? What’s he doing here?” Ryan looked behind him with distaste.
“Oh, nothing. He. He’s my neighbor is all. Sometimes I’m nice to him.” Okay, he shouldn’t lie about Jon.
“Oh. That’s fine, I guess. Okay, we need to get started.”
“Actually.” Brendon pulled out a piece of paper. “I’ve actually worked on some of it? I mean, it’s not done, but maybe we can use it to start with?”
Ryan and Brent shared a look. “Oh, hey, awesome. Hey, could we maybe get something to drink?”
“Oh, yeah. Awesome. I’ll be right back.” Brendon was getting three bottles of water and some snacks, just in case when he heard the door slam. That would have to be Jon. He threw grabbed a couple more things and ran back up the stairs.
When he got to his room, Ryan and Brent were gone and Jon was standing there. Any other time Brendon would have stopped to ask Jon why he had a guitar suddenly, but right now he was just thinking that Jon must have said something to make Ryan and Brent leave.
“Where are they?”
“What? Who? Oh, you mean Ryan and Brent? They were on their way out whenever I came in.”
“You’re lying.”
“What? Dude, no, I’m not. Why would I lie about that?”
“You’re just jealous that Ryan wanted to talk to me and not you. That’s horrible of you, Jon. You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“What? Brendon, seriously. Calm down.”
“Get out!” Brendon grabbed the first thing he saw, the photo album that Jon had given him, and maybe threw it a little harder than necessary against the wall. “Get out of here! I never want to talk to you again.”
And Jon didn’t argue. He looked hurt and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t argue. “Sorry,” he mumbled before leaving the room.
Brendon just wanted to go to bed and wake up and not be thirteen anymore.
-
Brendon’s alarm went off at what felt like way too early. And it sounded different than usual. He rolled over to hit snooze without opening his eyes. His bed felt bigger than it had when he went to sleep the night before. And what the hell kind of music was that playing? And where was it coming from? Between the alarm and the two lines of music that were repeating themselves from somewhere in the room, Brendon was confused.
And oh, wow. This was not his room. What the hell? He jumped out of bed, ignoring the alarm and music and left the room. He stopped when he passed the mirror in the hallway. He was. Well, he could see his features, but they were older. And he had awesome hair. But this was. This was not normal. He was kind of freaking out. He needed to call his parents. He needed to tell Jon.
But first he probably needed to change out of his pajamas. And figure out why the shower was running.
He started toward the bathroom but a stack of envelopes caught his eye. They were all addressed to Brendon. Brendon Urie, Brendon Urie, Brendon Urie. So this was actually his apartment. And he was not thirteen. He was moving past confused and freaking out to kind of ecstatic and freaking out.
The shower stopped running and he heard a muffled voice coming from the bathroom. He couldn’t understand what the voice was saying, and he didn’t really want to ask. Why was someone else in his bathroom?
“Oh, hey, you are awake. Why the fuck is the alarm still going off?”
Brendon stared. A lot. There was a man toweling himself off in the doorway of his bathroom who was covered in tattoos. Lots of tattoos. His hair was sticking up everywhere.
“Who are you?” Brendon finally said. “What are you doing in my house?”
The guy laughed. “That’s funny, Sugarbutt. You’re funny. Hey, are you feeling okay?”
“I don’t know you! And where is that music coming from!?”
“Uhm.” The guy dropped the towel and Brendon covered his eyes. He did not want to see random naked guy in his house.
“Oh my God, put that thing away.”
“I was just going to. Here.” He handed Brendon a messenger bag. “In there. Music? Are you freaking out?”
“No, I am not freaking out! I’m going …somewhere! When I get back I want you out of my house!”
Brendon took the bag from the naked guy and ran out. It turns out his house was actually an apartment. He got outside and looked around for anything familiar, but there was nothing. And that music was still coming from inside his bag. What the hell was that?
A limo pulled up at the curb and a tall, skinny, somewhat distantly familiar looking guy stepped out. “God, Brendon? What the hell? I’ve been trying to get call you for like half an hour. Here, take this.” He shoved a cup in Brendon’s face. “We have a staff meeting in like fifteen minutes, and it takes twenty to get the office. What the fuck are you wearing?”
“Uhm.”
“Oh my God, answer your phone!”
“My phone?”
The skinny guy rolled his eyes and reached into Brendon’s bag and pulled out a tiny little phone. “Hello? No, this is Ryan.” Ryan? “I don’t know. I think he’s freaking out. He’ll call you back later.” He handed the phone back to Brendon. “That was Pete. Call him back after the meeting. He sounded like he was about to fucking cry or something.”
Brendon followed Ryan into the limo.
“What? Who? Are you Ryan Ross?”
“Of course I’m Ryan Ross. Who else would I be? My God, what is wrong with you today, Brendon?”
“I don’t know. I woke up and everything was different! There’s this man in my apartment that I don’t know, and he was naked! And called me Sugarbutt. And then I kept hearing this music from nowhere, which was apparently a phone, and I need to call my mom and Jon and ---”
“Whoa, okay, seriously. First of all, good job on the random guy in your apartment. I wouldn’t tell Pete, though. He’s kind of weird about people sleeping with his boyfriend. Second of all, how much did you have to drink last night, because I’m pretty sure when I left you weren’t that wasted.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Yes. Okay, seriously, Brendon. This meeting is important, and Vicky’s being a bitch about it, so do me a favor and try not to show everyone in the office that you’re freaking out.”
He just nodded. Maybe he was freaking out. It was the only explanation for why he couldn’t remember the last however many years.
“How old am I?” he asked.
“Seriously, Brendon. Seriously. What the hell.”
“No, Ryan. Seriously! I went to bed and I was thirteen! And now I can’t remember anything and---!”
“Okay, seriously. No. I’m not playing along. We’re going to this meeting, and then you’re going to go home and sleep. I’ll tell Pete not to bother you until you’re good and rested and acting like you’re thirty years old again.”
“What? I’m thirty?”
Ryan just rolled his eyes. “We’re here. Get out.”
Brendon worked for a record company. It was kind of amazing. His boss, Victoria, wore amazing baby doll dresses and was kind of a bitch, and Brendon and Ryan were pretty much her right hand men. He was ecstatic.
The staff meeting was kind of disappointing though.
It started out well enough. Brendon’s assistant had come in, and Brendon had given him instructions to call Jon. He had to tell Jon about how amazing all of this was. Then it just got bad.
“Seriously, guys. This is ridiculous. The last five bands, we’ve tried to sign, Schechter has stolen from us. Plus, they‘ve already taken a handful of bands that we‘ve had signed to us for years. We need to find out why this is happening and stop it. I don’t want to think any of you are feeding them information, but what am I supposed to think?” She sighed. “Now, we’ve got another chance. There’s this band coming in this afternoon. It’s pretty much our last shot. If we don’t get them, well. I don’t really want to think about it. We have to land them. If you have any ideas, I want to hear them.”
The table was dead silent.
“Okay. Well, first thing’s first, we show them a good time. When they get on Friday, we’re throwing a party. Let’s show them a good time, okay? If you have any other ideas, let me know. Now get to work.”
People started leaving the meeting room. Brendon was the last one out. His assistant, Patrick, was waiting by the door.
“Okay, I couldn’t ---”
“Hang on!” Brendon grabbed Patrick by the arm and dragged him into his office. “Okay. Go.”
“Jon Walker isn’t living at this number anymore, but his parents are. They gave me his phone number and an address when I told them it was for you.”
“Patrick, you are my favorite. Thank you so much.” Patrick looked confused, like maybe he wasn’t used to being thanked, but Brendon just kept right on grinning at him. “I’m going to head out early today. Tell Ryan that I went to get some rest, so he won’t think I’m freaking out, okay?”
Patrick just sort of nodded. Brendon was already half way out the building.
-
Brendon was nervous. He didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, but it had to have been a while. He was just staring at Jon’s name on the buzzer. He didn’t know how to even begin to tell Jon what was going on. He would probably think Brendon was insane, just like Ryan did. Jon would probably tell him to go home and go to bed and he’d be over later with some lame movie that they saw in junior high and still couldn’t get enough of. God, they probably had tons of inside jokes that Brendon couldn’t remember. He mentally kicked himself for being stupid because this was Jon and Jon was awesome and his best friend, and it would be okay. He pushed the buzzer.
It felt like forever before Jon answered. “Hello?”
“Jon? It’s Brendon. Hey.”
“What? Uhm, I can’t hear you? Is this the take out?”
“What? No. It’s Brendon?” Brendon was going to bolt, he thought. He didn’t actually know if he could handle seeing Jon like this.
“What? Okay, no. This isn’t working. I’ll just let you up.”
The intercom clicked off and then the door clicked. Brendon opened it cautiously. He probably shouldn’t be nervous about seeing Jon, but. Jon was going to think he was crazy. He tapped on the door and waited.
“Hey, how much do I--” he stopped. “You’re not the take out.”
“Uhm, no. Hi Jon.”
“Hi. Brendon? What are you doing here?”
“Jon, seriously.” He didn’t even wait to be invited in. He pushed past Jon and started pacing around his living room. “I don’t know what’s going on. I woke up this morning and everything was different, and Ryan says I’m freaking out. And there was this strange naked man in my apartment and some guy named Pete keeps calling me and I don’t know what’s going on. I think I don’t talk to my parents anymore, Jon. And I work for this really awesome record company, but I don’t remember any of it, and I just. I don’t know what’s going on. And you think I’m crazy just like everyone else, but.”
“Brendon. Brendon. Slow down. What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m freaking out? I always come to you when I’m freaking out.”
“No. You always used to come to me when you were freaking out. Brendon, we haven’t spoken since high school or something.”
“What?” Brendon felt like maybe his world was collapsing. “Wait. We. What? Jon, that’s insane. You’re my best friend.”
“No. Ryan Ross is your best friend. I’m just some guy who used to live next door to you when we were younger.”
“Oh God.” Brendon fell back onto what was luckily the sofa and not the floor. “What? No. No, that’s wrong. I don’t-- No.”
“I’m sorry.” Jon frowned a little. “Do you want anything?”
“No. I just. Can I sit here for a minute?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Jon sighed. “Look, Bren, I really am sorry. We just. Things change, you know?”
“What happened, though? Why did we stop …?” He couldn’t really get his mind around it. He got mad at Jon sometimes, but the one thing he was ever sure about was that he was always going to be friends with Jon. No matter what.
“Your thirteenth birthday, I guess. You threw a photo album and told me that you never wanted to speak to me again and then you didn’t.”
“But I-- I didn’t mean it. I was just-- I’m sorry, Jon. I guess I ruined everything.”
“No, Brendon, really. We just moved on. People don’t stay friends forever.”
Brendon was hearing it, but he couldn’t make himself believe it. Yesterday Jon has been his best friend. Jon had been making stupid, ridiculous jokes and tolerating Brendon even when Brendon was being really lame and being generally awesome. Today they haven’t spoken in fifteen years, and it doesn’t make sense.
“Can we just-- I understand if you don’t want to, but can we just hang out for a little while? I kind of don’t want to go home.”
Jon looked like he was considering it and then nodded. “Yeah, okay. The take out is going to be here soon, but there should be enough for two.”
Brendon smiled. Maybe this would be okay after all.
-
“Wait, I was in a band?” They had ended up back at Brendon’s apartment, minus the naked guy, and they were looking at all of his old yearbooks.
Jon wasn’t accusing him of freaking out or anything, which he really appreciated. What Jon was doing, was trying to help him get a better idea of what had gone on since the last day he remembers. It was nice of him, considering they apparently weren’t even friends anymore.
“Yeah, with Ryan and Brent. You guys weren’t bad, I guess. You played a lot of house parties, but then Brent went away to school and you and Ryan stayed here.”
“Jon?” Brendon paused and waited for Jon to say something, but he didn’t. “Look, I don’t know what happened. I really don’t, but I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, yeah?” He jumped up. “I have to go. I’ve got kind of a busy day.”
“Oh, hey. There’s this party tonight. The record company’s throwing it. Do you, uh. You could come? We could hang out? I think they’re sending a limo for me.” Brendon kind of liked getting driven around in a limo.
“Maybe? I can stop by if I’m not busy. Bye, Brendon.” Jon smiled, kind of weakly. “I’ll just see myself out.”
Brendon really needed to know how everything in his life got so screwed up.
-
On the plus side, Brendon had a really amazing wardrobe. His closet was filled with lots of expensive things that he never could have dreamed of owning when he was thirteen. It was amazing. He went through it, trying to find the perfect outfit for the party, especially considering that he’d basically worn his pajamas all day.
It only took him a couple of hours to decide what to wear. And the shoes. So many shoes. He didn’t quite understand why he needed so many shoes, but apparently his future self was really into them.
He tried on more pairs of slacks than he could count before he finally settled on a pair that he thought looked the best. He barely managed to be ready in time, and was out the door five minutes before the limo was supposed to meet him downstairs. He wasn’t sure about the details of his life. He didn’t know how he got so awesome, but he was. His life was so awesome.
There was a girl his age, or what used to be his age standing on the other end of the elevator, purposefully avoiding eye contact.
“Hi,“ he grinned at her. “I’m Brendon!”
“I’m Ashlee.” Her smile wasn’t nearly as big as his.
“Awesome.” He nodded. “How old are you, Ashlee?”
“Thirteen.”
“Oh! Awesome. So am I. …I mean, I was. Years ago. That’s a great age, thirteen.”
She looked at him like he was crazy, which he was actually starting to think might not be far from the truth. But he still felt thirteen. He couldn’t help it. “Uh, right,“ she said. “Nice pants.”
“Seriously, though. Don’t they make my butt look great?”
She honest to God giggled, just as the elevator came to a stop. “Bye, Ashlee! I’ll see you later!”
He had a party waiting for him.
-
The party was not as amazing as Brendon had expected. The DJ was kind of lame for a record company and everyone was just sort of standing around.
“There you are!” Vicky ran up to him. “We need to do something. This party is dying. Or maybe it’s already dead. I can’t tell.”
“I told you this was going to be a disaster.” Ryan sounded bored, but Brendon had noticed that Ryan pretty much always sounded bored, so maybe that wasn’t saying much.
“It’s not …that bad.” Brendon lied. He thought that was probably just good manners. Don’t tell your boss their party sucked. It seemed like a good idea.
“Don’t humor me, Urie. I sign your paychecks.” There was a shrill ring and Vicky took a small phone out of her pocket. “What? What do you mean they’re not ---Okay, no. I’ll be right there.” She groaned and slammed the phone shut. “Okay. Hold that thought. I have to go stop a disaster from happening.”
“I’m going to go get a drink.” Ryan said. “I’m going to need one to make it through this.”
Brendon thought that maybe sounded like a good idea. His parents were one hundred percent against alcohol, but dude. He could legally buy alcohol at thirteen. He’d be crazy not to do it.
He walked up to the bar. “Hi, can I have something fruity?” He didn’t actually know the names of any drinks. That wasn’t his fault. He was only thirteen.
“What?”
“I don’t care. Anything.” He paused. “Do you want to see my ID?” He had it out before the bartender could answer.
Whatever he had gotten, it was good. Really good. And he drank three more before his head started swimming a little bit but in a totally good way. He liked alcohol. Especially whatever kind this was. Maybe rum. Or tequila.
“So, this is the big party?” A guy who was really skinny and had long hair and didn’t look like he belonged came up to Brendon and started talking to him. “Well, at least I know what the competition is up to.”
“What?”
“Wow, Brendon. You’ve had a bit too much to drink.”
“What do you want, Beckett?” Ryan walked over. Brendon was glad for that because apparently he was supposed to know who this person was and he had no idea.
“Just came to check out the competition. I don’t think it was necessary anyway. This party sucks. And isn’t there supposed to be a band here or something?”
“Get the fuck out, William. This party is invitation only.”
“And it looks like half of the invites got lost in the mail.”
Brendon didn’t like this William person. He didn’t seem very nice. Ryan opened his mouth to bite back but William was already heading out the door. Brendon was glad for it.
“Why do you let him talk to you like that? Seriously, Brendon. Just tell him to go away.” Ryan said. “Come on, Vicky wants to introduce us to the band.”
Brendon followed Ryan to Vicky, who was standing over in the corner talking to five guys who seemed anything but interested. And they didn’t really fit in with the décor of the party or the music that was playing.
“Brendon, Ryan. This is My Chemical Romance. Uhm, let me see if I can get this right.” She plastered on what Brendon was sure was a fake smile. “Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Ray and Bob. Did I get it?”
“That’s right.” The prettiest one, Gerard, said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Brendon and Ryan are the best we’ve got. If you need anything, you can ask either one of them.”
Brendon looked up and saw Jon walk through the door. He honestly had started to think that Jon wasn’t coming. And now he was here. Brendon smiled and forgot what he was doing. “Hold that though, okay Vicky. I have to …go!”
He rushed over to Jon and grinned. “You came! Awesome! This is so great, Jon. That girl over there in the baby doll dress is my boss, and she’s like. The coolest person ever. And then Ryan and that’s a band. That we’re trying to sign. I can’t even believe this is my life. And you’re here.”
“Uhm, yeah.” Jon looked a little nervous, like he thought he didn’t belong. “Look, I just wanted to stop by because I said I would.”
“No. You’re staying. Jon Walker, you are going to stay, and you are going to like it.”
“Really, Brendon, I--”
“Brendon Urie, you’re lucky I like you or I would have fired your ass for that. What was so important that you walked away in the middle of meeting a very important band?”
“I’m sorry, Vicky. I just--”
“No.” She put a hand up. “I don’t want to hear it. You need to do something. I’ve tried everything I can think of, and the band is getting bored as hell. They’re two seconds away from signing with Schechter. And I love Ryan, but he’s dying over there. They hate him.”
Brendon glanced over and sure enough the band looked unimpressed. Completely unimpressed. Brendon felt sorry for Ryan. “I’m sorry, Jon. It looks like I have to take care of this. I’ll be back, okay?”
“I’ll try not to keep him too long.” Vicky dragged Brendon back over to where Ryan was trying to impress the band.
“Okay, so!” Brendon clapped his hands together. “Ryan, I can handle this. Why don’t you go get another drink.” Brendon was damn well going to do this right if he had to do it.
“Yeah, Ryan. Go get a drink.” Vicky shot him a look. Ryan shot glares at both Vicky and Brendon before turning around without a second look.
He could be mad for all Brendon cared. All he really wanted was too do what Vicky wanted him to do and impress the shit out of this band so that he could go back and talk to Jon. But when he turned around to look, Jon was already gone.
-
The restaurant was really crowded that night. Brendon and Ryan had managed to get a nice spot at that bar, away from the crowds of families and teenagers. Ryan had insisted, and Brendon hadn’t argued because, well, bar.
“So, then he just left. Can you believe that?” Brendon and Ryan were out having drinks. Apparently it was something they did. Brendon looked down at the nearly empty drink in his hand. “This is really good.”
“Yeah.” Ryan paused. “Okay, not that I’m not grateful for the trip down memory lane here, but why the hell are you going to see Jon Walker and inviting him to our parties now?”
“What? Why not? He’s my best friend.”
“Brendon. You haven’t spoken to the guy in years. He’s not your best friend. Have you been seeing your therapist? Because I think you need to.”
“I have a therapist?”
Ryan just stared at him. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to go over to that guy who’s checking you out, ask if you can buy him a drink, maybe go home with him and forget all about this minor nervous break down you seem to be happening wherein you think we’re back in eighth grade.”
“I’m not. Wait. What guy?” Brendon looked around. “Oh, that guy. He’s cute. Do you think I should go up to him? Really?”
“Okay, seriously? Yes. I do think. It’s not like you’re married or anything. Pete doesn’t have to know. Especially since you guys seem to having an off again period.”
Brendon doesn’t know who Pete is, except that Ryan keeps saying Pete is his boyfriend. He thinks it’s probably weird that he hasn’t met his boyfriend yet. He also thinks it’s kind of weird that he has a boyfriend, but it’s totally cool.
“Okay. Wish me luck.”
“Yeah. Whatever. Go get him.” Brendon can never tell whether or not Ryan’s getting sarcastic.
He jumped up and walked over to the guy in question. He had to have been a couple years older. Maybe fifteen, sixteen tops, but he was cute.
“Hey, dude. Can I. Uh, borrow your ketchup?”
“Yeah, sure, man.” Cute Guy handed Brendon the ketchup, but before Brendon could take it Ryan was grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away.
“What the fuck, Brendon? Are you trying to get arrested?”
“What?”
“Not him. That guy!”
“Ew. No, that guy’s old.”
Ryan muttered something under his breath and dragged Brendon outside. “Seriously. What is wrong with you?”
“Oh my God.”
“What?”
“That! Across the street! That’s the naked guy! From my apartment.”
“That’s the naked guy?” Ryan actually started laughing. “Man, you’ve really lost it. Seriously. That’s Pete.”
“Pete?”
“Your boyfriend. Pete.”
Naked Guy, Pete apparently, was standing across the street talking to some girl, who had just pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and was asking him to sign something.
“That’s Pete. My boyfriend.” Brendon repeated it to see if it sounded anymore right. “Wait. Why is my boyfriend signing autographs?”
“Because he’s Pete Wentz? He’s kind of a rockstar? He’s in a band. A famous band. A band on our label. Does any of this sound familiar?” Brendon just shook his head.
“Brendon?” Brendon spun around to see Jon coming up the street.
“Jon! Hi!” Brendon was grateful for the distraction from Pete. He actually really didn’t want to talk to him, despite knowing that Pete was his boyfriend. Apparently his rockstar boyfriend.
“Hey, Bren. Look, I’m sorry about the other night. I just, that was kind of not my kind of place.”
“Well, if it isn’t Jon Walker.”
“Ryan. Hi.”
“It’s been a while.”
“Not long enough, actually,” he paused and sighed. “Like I said, Brendon, I’m sorry about the other--”
Brendon noticed a guy coming toward them. More specifically, a guy in tight jeans and a nice button down shirt with hair falling around his face was coming toward Jon. “There you are! Jesus, Jon, I know you don’t like shopping, but-- oh. Who are we talking to?” He looked at Brendon.
“Oh, Spence. Yeah, this Brendon. We went to school together. Brendon, this is Spencer. He’s my, uh, boyfriend.”
“Oh.” Brendon hadn’t seen that coming. Not that he was upset by it or anything. Just a little. Surprised. He would have thought that at some point Jon would have said ‘Hey, by the way, I have a boyfriend!’ Not that it mattered. Because it didn’t.
“Is that Pete Wen--” Jon was mid-sentence and suddenly Pete was pressed close behind Brendon.
“Hey! Bren, what the fuck, man? I’ve been trying to call you for like days. Where have you been?” Pete was suddenly standing right next to him, putting an arm around Brendon’s waist.
“I, uh. Work. I’ve been busy.”
“Oh hey, you have friends. Who are your friends?”
“Oh, right. This is, uhm, Jon Walker. He’s an old friend. And his friend Spencer.”
“Boyfriend,” Spencer corrected him.
“Yeah. Right. Boyfriend. This is Pe--”
“Yeah, Pete Wentz. I know your stuff, man. It’s good,” Jon shook Pete’s hand. Which was weird, and considering the past few days of Brendon‘s life, that was saying something.
“Awesome. It’s always cool to meet a fan, dude!” He squeezed Brendon‘s waist slightly. “Mind if I steal him away from you for a while?”
Brendon was trying to convey with his eyes how much he wanted Jon to say no. He did not want to be in a room alone with Pete and his nakedness and all of his tattoos. It kind of freaked him out a little bit. He would much rather hang out with Jon and his …Spencer.
“Not at all. You two have fun,” Jon smiled and nodded a little bit.
“Oh, we will.” Pete winked and dragged Brendon away. He did not want this. At all.
-
“So, what do you want to do?” Pete pushed Brendon through the door. “Anything at all.”
“Uhm, let’s just watch some TV, okay?” Brendon rushed over and sat down on the sofa.
“Alright? Is something wrong?” Brendon felt kind of bad for Pete, really. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings or anything, but this was not… No. This was not something Brendon wanted to deal with. He was thirteen years old, damn it.
“No, yeah, I’m fine. Just, tired, is all.” Brendon actually hated lying to people. Especially people he thought might care about him, but.
“Okay.” Pete sat close to him on the couch, and it was actually kind of nice. It was comfortable. Until Pete started doing things like kissing his neck and trying to unzip Brendon’s pants.
“Uhm. I have to.” Brendon squirmed a bit. “I have to go… be not here.”
“You’re playing hard to get. It’s kind of adorable if not a little annoying. Now, seriously Brendon. Just relax.” Maybe this Pete guy was actually kind of sleazy.
“No. I--” He tried to bat Pete’s hands away.
“Come on, Sugarbutt.”
Brendon pushed him away and jumped up. “Don’t call me that, okay!” Brendon shuddered. “It’s gross. I’m going home. Stop calling me!”
“Dude. What did I do?”
Brendon didn’t stop to answer before he slammed the door behind him.
-
Brendon loved his job. He couldn’t imagine that his future self didn’t love it. Especially when Vicky came up to him the next morning praising him for a job well done.
Then, he wowed them in the staff meeting with his awesome motivational speech. Who cared if he stole it from book on working in the recording industry. But the way he saw it, they still had time to land My Chemical Romance. They seemed to be impressed with Brendon, at least, even if they didn’t seem to like Ryan. He could do this. He knew he could.
“Patrick, do I have any messages?” Brendon headed into his office.
“Uhm, Pete called for you. Again.”
“Ugh.”
“And that’s it. Oh. No, I lied. Gabe Saporta called for you.”
“Gabe Saporta?”
“He’s Vicky’s …something. I don’t know.”
“Oh.” Brendon shrugged. “Well, I’ve got some work to do, so if I get any important calls.”
“Of course.”
Brendon closed the door behind Patrick and went to his desk, taking out some pens and paper. He had ideas to write down. He had a record company to save! There was a tap at the door, which he thought was probably Ryan.
“Come in.”
“No, you can’t go in--” Brendon heard Patrick say, and then there was a tall guy barging through his door without so much as knocking. He pushed Patrick out of the door frame and closed the door behind him.
“Hey there.”
“Uhm, hi? What are you doing here?” Brendon stayed behind the desk. He didn’t like the look in this guy’s eyes. He looked a little predatory.
“Oh, you know what I’m doing here,” the guy walked around the back of Brendon’s desk and started rubbing at his shoulders. “I came to see Vicky. Had a little extra time because she kicked me out.”
And suddenly Brendon realized who this guy was.
“You’re Gabe!”
Gabe laughed. “Yes, I am. We established that before. Why are you so tense.”
“You’re with Vicky!”
Gabe pulled him up. “That didn’t bother you last week.” He turned Brendon around and pushed him into the desk, kissing him. Brendon pushed him away. “What the hell?” Gabe said with a confused look on his face.
“Ew, get out.” Brendon started wiping at his mouth. “You’re dating my boss!” Brendon hit at him more when he wouldn’t back off. And then he still wouldn’t back off and instinct kicked in, so Brendon kneed him in the crotch and punched him in the face. He thought it probably wasn’t the best idea to do that to his boss’s boyfriend who was way bigger than him, but this guy deserved it.
From the sound of it, Brendon wasn’t exactly innocent, but he really didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to get out of there. He wanted to go …anywhere.
“Jesus Christ, what has gotten into you, Brendon? Fucking psycho.” Gabe gave him one last glare before leaving the room.
Brendon pretended like he didn’t know everyone had stopped what they were doing to try and figure out what was happening in his office and walked back around his desk. He had work to do.
-
When Brendon finally left that afternoon, he passed the staff room where Ryan was talking to someone he didn’t know. He heard the words “Brendon” and “losing his fucking mind” and “going to make Vicky see who’s the best”. Brendon felt like he was going to be sick.
Between his relationship with Pete and whatever with Gabe and his ‘friendship’ with Ryan and Jon having a boyfriend and not knowing basically anything about the last however many years of his life, it was all just too much. Brendon didn’t understand how he had gotten where he was. He didn’t seem like a very nice person with very nice friends, and he didn’t talk to Jon anymore.
And he knew it was a bad idea, knew it with every part of his brain, but god. He was just thirteen years old, and any other time he was run next door to Jon’s house, and there’s nothing else he could think of that he could do. He needed his best friend. He needed Jon.
He got to Jon’s apartment when it was already dark, and he thought maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe Jon was with Spencer and he wouldn’t want Brendon anywhere around, but he had to try.
He pushed the buzzer and hoped to any God there might be that Jon was home and that he answered.
“Hello?”
“Jon? It’s Brendon. Can you, uh? I sort of…” He didn’t know what to say.
There was a long pause before Jon said, “I’ll be right down.”
Jon was down in less than five minutes.
“Hey, Brendon. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. No? I don’t know.” He paused. “Can we walk?”
Jon nodded and they started down the street. Brendon didn’t know how far they’d gone before he got up the courage to actually say something. “Jon, what happened to us?”
“What?”
“I mean, I know what you said. My thirteenth birthday, but you were my best friend. It wasn’t like we’d never fought before. What happened to us? Why did it stop?”
“I don’t know, Bren. Things change. You and Ryan and Brent, you guys became inseparable, and I guess you just didn’t have any need for me anymore.”
Brendon couldn’t imagine not needing Jon anymore. Not then and not now and not ever.
“Look, Brendon. I don’t know what’s going on, why you suddenly had this change of heart and looked me up, but. This is,” Jon sighed. “I think it’s best if we just didn’t. Okay? We’re different people now. You’re a different person.”
Brendon could think of a thousand reasons why that was a bad idea. Why needed Jon around, but they all made him sound thirteen years old. And he felt thirteen, but he wasn’t thirteen. Everyone here thought he was an adult, and this was his life now. He was stuck here, and he had to deal with it.
“Yeah. Right. Sorry. I-- I won’t bother you again. I promise.” Brendon didn’t wait for Jon to respond. He turned around and took off in the other direction. He didn’t know where he was going but he had to go somewhere.
-
He called his parents when he got home. As it turned out, they wanted nothing to do with him. He couldn’t actually say he was surprised. He didn’t seem like the kind of person they would want anything to do with. He was apparently a really awful person.
His apartment was too empty, too small, too everything. His best friend was stabbing him in the back. Everything was just bad. He wanted to go back to thirteen. He wanted to take back everything he ever said about wanting to grow up back. He wanted his best friend and his parents and his room and to have never kicked Jon out of his house that day or invited Ryan Ross over. He wanted to take it back.
He had to get out of his apartment. He didn’t know where he was going to go. He couldn’t go see Jon. He didn’t want to see Ryan. He just had to get out. He closed the apartment door behind him. Ashlee was standing in the hallway, looking like he felt.
“Hey, Ashlee. What’s wrong?”
“Boys suck.”
“Yeah. Yeah, they do. We do. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” she paused. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know? Anywhere? Maybe for ice cream. Does your mom mind if you come?”
“Mom’s not home. She’s somewhere with my sister.”
He nodded and decided to talk Ashlee with him. At least she could maybe understand where he was coming from.
-
“So now Ryan is kind of stabbing me in the back and Jon won’t even talk to me, and it’s just so bad. I don’t know where I messed up.”
“So, this Jon guy, was he like, your boyfriend or something?”
“What? No. No, never. He’s got this boyfriend though. They seem happy together.”
“What about Pete Wentz? I mean, you were dating him, right? I saw you guys together in some magazines? He always said you were just friends in interviews and stuff, but I kind of always thought he was, you know.”
“Yeah. I guess,” Brendon wondered if he should actually be telling her that if Pete had tried to keep it a secret. “I mean, you can’t. Please don’t --”
“I won’t tell anyone,” she smiled. “I’m really awesome at keep secrets.”
Brendon liked Ashlee. She totally understood him. Maybe she could be his best friend now. I mean, it might look weird her hanging out with a thirty year old guy all the time, but he wasn’t really thirty. Technically.
“So, this Jon guy?”
“What about him? I told you, he’s my--”
“Yeah, but you know he’s totally into you, right? I mean, that’s how it always is in the movies. It’s so romantic.”
Brendon didn’t think that was true. Jon seemed really happy with Spencer, and Brendon was apparently already sleeping with one man who was taken. He didn’t need to add his best friend to the list.
“It’s not really. I mean, he’s just, you know. He’s Jon. We’re friends. We were friends. I don’t know. I miss being thirteen.”
“I can’t wait to be older. Being thirteen sucks.”
Brendon laughed. For the first time in a long time, actually. “Yeah. I remember thinking that.” It was only a few days ago that Brendon thought that, but it felt like years ago. “Seriously, Ashlee. Enjoy it while you can.”
The last thing Brendon wanted was for Ashlee to wake up one morning in his position.
-
Brendon had spent all weekend alternating between talking to Ashlee and sitting in his apartment trying to think of a way to save his job. He liked Vicky and he liked working for a record company, and he really wanted to do what he could to land My Chemical Romance.
He was halfway through the door when he spotted Gerard Way walking up. The thing was, he knew Gerard had liked him at the party. He thought that if he could get an in, maybe that would give him some ideas. It seemed like that was the kind of sneaky thing this new him would do. Using people. That was what he did now.
“Hey Gerard. Are you here to see Vicky?”
“Yeah. Brendon, right? We met at the party the other night?”
“Yeah. Where’s the rest of the band?”
“They’re around. Somewhere. To be honest, we’re not into this whole being talked up and jerked around thing. I’m only here because we had a meeting scheduled,” Gerard shrugged. “We just want to play music, you know? This whole business thing, it’s not really us.”
“Yeah. I hear that.” Brendon didn’t really like the business thing either. “Not to be nosy or anything, but you’re talking to Brian Schechter, too?”
“I guess. It’s more like Brian and Vicky are talking to us. No one’s really asked us what we want, you know? They’re just sort of shoving things in our faces.”
And Brendon suddenly realized how easy it actually was.
-
“I don’t know, Brendon.” Vicky bit her lip. “It’s risky.”
“It’s all they want, Vicky. Gerard said so himself. They’re basically tired of record companies throwing offers at them. Sit them down, ask them what they want, and give them what they want. That’s how you’re going to land this band. I’m telling you. They aren’t your typical rockstars.”
Brendon had walked into the building with Gerard and spent a good ten more minutes talking to him. He got a good feel for who Gerard was, and he thought maybe that was how it was supposed to be done. Maybe he had picked a few things up from being in this world.
Gerard was waiting out in the lobby while Brendon talked to Vicky. She was a tough sell.
“I guess. Look, I’ll talk to Gerard. We’ll see how it goes. If we land these guys, Brendon, it’s a huge promotion for you. I give you my word.”
Brendon grinned and nodded. Things were starting to look up in serious ways. He left Vicky’s office and nodded at Gerard on his way out. He was thinking he might stop and gloat to Ryan. That sounded like the best plan ever.
But he stopped by his office and Ryan was already there.
“What are you doing in my office?” Brendon asked.
Ryan was standing there, with a stack of envelopes in his hand and a dark look on his face. “Oh my God, Brendon. Did you think no one was going to find out?”
“Find out what?”
“I found these in your desk.”
He shoved the envelopes in his hand. They were all addressed to Brendon. From Brian Schechter. “What is this? I don’t know what this is.”
“Oh come off it, Brendon. Stop fucking with me. The innocent thing doesn’t work so well anymore. You’ve been working with Schechter for months. Helping him land acts that should have been ours, helping him steal bands that already were. It’s all right there, so don’t even try to lie about it.”
“What are you-- I don’t.” Brendon had figured out some things about himself. He was probably a horrible judge in character. He had bad taste in men. Sometimes he did some pretty questionable things. But he couldn’t possibly be capable of something like this. There’s no way.
“Oh, come off it. You were going to help them land Pete. You’re lucky I didn’t call Vicky. Oh, and Jon Walker stopped by, too. Something about needing to talk to you. I told him something. I can’t remember what.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I think I told him that you said you never wanted to see him again? Something like that. I’ll see you later, Brendon.”
Ryan pushed past Brendon and out of the office.
For probably the tenth time that week, Brendon’s world collapsed underneath him.
-
Brendon read the letters. Then he read the letters again. And again. And he couldn’t believe it. He’d sold out people that he worked with. People that he should have cared about and looked out for.
He’d lost his best friend. First Jon, then Ryan, then Jon again. He didn’t speak to his parents. He slept with men who were taken. He used people. Brendon didn’t like who he had become.
And Jon. Jon had come to see him. And Ryan had said something. If that was true. Brendon didn’t even know if Ryan had been making it up. He had to know. He dug out his phone and dialed Jon’s number.
“Hello?” That wasn’t Jon.
“Uhm, is this Spencer?”
“Yeah. Who is this?”
“Is Jon there? I, uh, this is Brendon. I need to talk to him.”
It was probably not as long as it seemed before the phone changed hands and Jon was saying “hello?” on the other end.
“Jon, hi. Look, I know that you came by the office today, but.”
“Look, Brendon, I stopped at your office to apologize for the other night. I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, and I’m sorry if I made it harder, but--”
“No, Jon, I’m the one who should be apologizing, but. Look, I can’t do this over the phone. Can we meet somewhere? Or something?”
There was a long pause.
“Actually, I’m heading out of town. Spencer and I. We’re, well, we’re having this ceremony thing tomorrow? Not really a wedding, but you know. At my parents house, so.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” There was another long pause. “So I have to go.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. I’ll let you go. Uhm, congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
Brendon hung up the phone. His life really sucked. And okay, maybe Ashlee had been right and he had this tiny thing for Jon, but that didn’t matter now even more than it had before.
-
Brendon got a phone call the next morning from Vicky telling him not to bother coming in. Ryan had told her all about the letters from Brian Schechter that belonged to someone who wasn‘t really him. The landed My Chemical Romance, but only after Brendon got fired and Ryan got promoted.
Brendon thought his future self probably deserved to lose the best job ever at that point.
Brendon didn’t know what he was going to do. He didn’t have a job anymore. He didn’t have friends anymore. Jon was having a non-wedding-thing today, and all he really wanted was for everything to back to normal.
-
Brendon was doing something stupid. He knew he was. Jon was getting married today. Or something like that. And what was he going to do? Stop the ceremony because he maybe had a crush on his best friend. Ex-best friend. Whatever Jon was.
But they did that, right? They had that part in the ceremony where you could stand up and say that you object. They did that. Brendon knew they did that. They always did that.
So he was in a cab going back home, and maybe he could talk to his parents while he was there, find out what had happened to make them stop talking. But first he had to see Jon.
He went into the house and walked to Jon’s old bedroom. Jon looked good in his tux and half-tied tie.
“Brendon.”
“Jon. Hi. I just. I wanted to.” Brendon took a deep breath. “I was just wondering if we could talk?”
“I don’t have long.”
“Yeah, I know. Jon, do you. Did you ever. I’m not doing this right.” Brendon paused. “Okay, so I think what I’m trying to say is that I kind of like you? And don’t get married because that would suck.”
“I’m not getting married.”
“I know, but-- You know what I mean.”
“Brendon,” Jon signed. “Look, Brendon, I know you think …whatever. This has been a weird week and stuff, but I love Spencer. And you and me, that’s. No, it’s not going to happen.”
“Don’t even want to see? Just a little.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do. More than a little. I want to take some time to figure out what the hell is happening here, and why you came back into my life when you did, but I can’t. Spencer’s it for me.”
“Jon.”
“I’m sorry, Brendon. Look, you can stay if you--”
“No. No I’ll go.”
“Hang on, just for a minute?” Jon went into his closet and came out with a photo album. The photo album he’d given Brendon on his birthday. It seemed like forever ago now.
“You kept this?”
“Yeah. I guess I just thought... I don’t know what I thought, but it’s yours, so.”
Brendon nodded. “Yeah. Congratulations. I really do hope you and Spencer are happy.”
Brendon didn’t wait for him to say anything. He didn’t think he could handle it, and he refused to cry because he wasn’t thirteen. He was never going to be thirteen again. He didn’t want to go back to the city.
His parents weren’t home. Their cars were gone. He could sneak in. He remembered where they hid the key. God, he just wanted to go home. He held the photo album close to himself and went inside, went to his old bedroom and curled up in his old bed. His room was still the same.
He just wanted to wake up and be thirteen again.
-
Brendon woke up. It was sunny outside and he was in his old room. And he was wearing the same thing he’d fallen asleep in last night. The same thing he’d been wearing when he kicked Jon out. He was thirteen again.
He jumped out of bed and ran next door and rushed in without knocking. He went up to Jon’s room.
Jon looked up from where he was playing with his camera.
“Brendon?”
“Oh my God. Jon. It is so good to see you! I’m sorry about yesterday! I promise I will never ever kick you out of my house and tell you don’t want to see you. Ever again. Okay?”
“Uhm, okay? Dude, are you alright?”
“I am so very beyond alright. You have no idea.”
Brendon smiled. His life was going to be so awesome.
-
Brendon never became friends with Ryan Ross. Jon never met Spencer Smith. Brendon’s life turned out so awesome.
So I'm pretty happy with how this came out. I don't know though. I'm not the best person to ask!
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Date: 2008-02-10 08:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-10 10:09 am (UTC)But I liked this :)
<3
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Date: 2008-02-15 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-10 10:22 am (UTC)ahaha that totally happened to me on my 18th. i went out and no one asked me for ID so eventually i started shoving it in people's faces and yelling 'IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND I AM LEGAL, WHY WON'T YOU ASK FOR ID??!'
on a related note, this was awesome!
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-10 04:15 pm (UTC)I am pleased. :)
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Date: 2008-02-15 04:52 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it!
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Date: 2008-02-15 05:02 am (UTC)IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
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Date: 2008-02-10 06:11 pm (UTC)Also, IkindofwantedittostayBrendon/Pete. My OTP is showing. D:
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Date: 2008-02-15 04:52 am (UTC)Sooooorry!
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Date: 2008-02-10 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-10 07:03 pm (UTC)Also? Pete as Brendon's hotshot boyfriend = hilarious.
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Date: 2008-02-15 04:53 am (UTC)God, Pete as the boyfriend was probably my favorite part to write, tbh.
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Date: 2008-02-10 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-11 12:06 am (UTC)Well, he could see his features, but they were older. And he had awesome hair.
Hahaha best sentence ever xD
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Date: 2008-02-15 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-11 08:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 04:55 am (UTC)